“Wash your hands with soap and water and then dry them with a paper towel.” Just like momma always told me. But so many campus residents stand, hands dripping, at the sink, faced with no towels and no options. What is wrong with society? And don’t I pay $40,000 a year to go here?
A poster I saw hanging in West Campus at the end of last semester sang the praises of the hallowed National Handwashing Awareness Week. The ever-so-helpful bulletin even went so far as to give handwashing tips for those of us who have trouble. Sing a song as you wash, the poster suggested. Make sure you use soap and water. (This suggestion was clearly for those of us who, until the placement of this informative, life-changing bulletin, used only soap, and thus left their hands gooey and effervescent.) The citizens of West Campus, the poster declared, clearly do not use soap, for the soap dispensers rarely need to be refilled.
Now, personally, I’m all for handwashing. I’m not Anti-Handwashing, nor am I Pro-Dirty Hands, a rightist euphemism for those who don’t wash. But a friend of mine pointed out the other day that perhaps there was a reason the soap wasn’t used. “Well, there aren’t any paper towels. I can see where someone wouldn’t want to bother washing their hands if they couldn’t dry them. I, of course, always wash.”
Perhaps my friend was in denial, but I was inclined to believe him, as we had just shaken hands. At any rate, this paper towel thing has started to get to me. There aren’t any paper towels in the dorms. Perhaps they’re simply out. But that doesn’t explain the lack of paper towel dispensers, does it? My mind raced at the possible implications. Are paper towels a fire hazard or a terrorist target for lavatorial arsonists? Is there a dean with arbor allergies or a vice president with a bad foresting accident in his past? Or does the truth lie deeper? I decided to do some research.
According to www.henrythehand.com — the official website of Handwashing Awareness Week spokesman and “Champion Handwasher” Henry the Hand — it is advisable to “Dry hands well with paper towel.” In fact, a Google search of Henry’s advice (in quotes) turns up 46 results, while a search of “Don’t dry hands well with paper towel” finds none.
“But what about killing trees?” one might ask. Well, we kill a lot of trees anyway, but today some paper towels are actually made from recycled paper. According to www.homeprojects.org, making paper towels out of recycled paper “saves gallons of water” and “eliminates releasing air pollutants into the atmosphere.” Well, there you have it. So paper waste couldn’t be the issue.
A search of “paper towel” (in quotes) on www.bu.edu found 50 results. A quick read of these would inform even the casual observer that something was awry. You see, nearly every site on the search was related in some way to a scientific experiment. “Soak a few sheets of paper towel,” “invert the plate onto a paper towel,” and even, “Wipe sprayed areas clean with paper towel to remove bio-proteins.” I don’t know what that means and, as human nature dictates, I am, therefore, afraid of it. Where is my $40,000 a year going? I know it isn’t going to paper towels in my residence hall, but could it possibly be going to something nefarious? Something reprehensible? Something evil? Science?!
By this point in my investigations, I had done more research than I had done in actual classes all year. But I had to find out. I had to know. And, more importantly, I had to learn how to do research in case I ever decided to write a real paper.
Here’s what I found:
Student Union Vice President Jonah Goldberg said that, contrary to the results of a BU administration poll, students actually prefer paper towels to blow driers. A door-to-door poll of 853 campus residents by the Student Union found that about 73 percent of students are in favor of paper towels. Goldberg even cited a floor which has put a midnight curfew on drier use because of the noise it creates. Personally, I don’t even have a blow drier to wake me up. But the Student Union is fighting for paper towels and hopes to have the issue discussed in a budget meeting this month. “This is clearly what the students want,” Goldberg declared.
Residence at BU costs $3,225 per semester, or $6,450 a year. BU orders things like soap and toilet paper from Simplex Janitorial Supplies, which distributes paper products from Kimberly-Clark Professional, manufacturers of brands like Kleenex and Scott. Scott paper towels can be found online for as cheap as $35 per 20-pack of 175 towel units. That’s 3,500 towels, or about one cent per towel. The average person uses the restroom six times per day. Assuming each person uses only one paper towel each time, that’s less than $10 per person per school year. Do you think BU can find that in $6,450? I do. And if not, I’d be willing to pay $6,460. Wouldn’t you?
A West Campus RA suggested her floor collect money for community paper towels. Why not have all of West Campus take up a collection? In fact, I’d be willing to hang on to the money. Small, unmarked bills are best.
Ethan Rosenberg, a freshman in the College of Fine Arts, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at [email protected].