On the seventh day, God rested. Lucky for him, it was Super Bowl Sunday, and he had just purchased a gigantic television screen. Even on the holiest day of the week, Christians could not escape human drama, and neither could the national news networks that thought it was in everyone’s interest to know what an illegal Super Bowl party looks like.
The Lord assured National Football League lawyers no one was really watching the game anyway. They just like the commercials. Honestly, do Americans even have the attention span to follow the whole game? I sure as hell don’t.
Lucky for me, TV has turned “turbo” too. Forget thoughtful debate and discussion, a 30-second spot aired during the Super Bowl cost $2.6 million this year, according to CNN. If money talks, it has learned to say a whole lot in a short amount of time. Or maybe it’s just us and our greedy ears.
Of course, this is much bigger than the Super Bowl. I’m talking about reality, man. And reality is much easier to take in small sound bytes.
When it comes to broadcast news, journalism has become centered around the sound byte. Iraq might be in a civil war. Unfortunately, politicians neither have the balls to say it nor the three minutes to explain.
I can’t complain. Sound bytes may make current events harder to chew, but they are much easier to swallow. And still, the chewiest stories fill the spaces.
I’m talking about “human-interest pieces” about people like Elian Gonzalez. Years ago, when I first heard of the little illegal Cuban boy, I wondered why this kid was so special. Fortunately, the journalistic free-for-all that ensued didn’t leave me wondering too long.
At about the time small pixels in the television started burning tiny holes in my eyes, I realized Elian was not just a child. Elian was bigger than that. He was immigration policy, he was Miami-Dade County, he was Gloria Estefan and he was me. Boy, was that personally gratifying.
Flash forward to Terri Schiavo, that poor woman plugged into an electrical socket while so many people tugged at the power cord. Of course, I was one of these people. Honestly, how could I flip the channel?
Some call the former Republican-led legislature a “do-nothing” Congress, but let’s be serious. They might have ignored declining workers’ real wages and avoided any action on the impending social security crisis, but they sure know how to protect our right to life.
In March 2005, Congress called an emergency session and passed legislation regarding the even more impending life-or-death of Terri Schiavo. How could they have managed to accomplish anything without Terri? And, more importantly, without the national networks devoted enough to take gratuitous footage of her and her machine.
Rest assured, these “human interest pieces” are of an entirely different kind than reality TV. While MTV exploits teens on “Sweet Sixteen,” CNN, MSNBC and FOX News have become humanitarians in their own right. I wouldn’t consider these stories a form of exploitation as much as probing (less fun, but even more intrusive).
If you watch CNN regularly, you know my favorite news anchor and personal role model Nancy Grace. Paving the way for broadcast journalists around the globe, this macho Mach-Truck maiden of justice is the greatest journalist on television.
If you do not watch CNN, imagine a self-righteous middle-aged soccer mom without kids to bring to soccer practice. Indeed, this embittered the woman a bit, and she took up law. Later, a CNN correspondent offered her a show because he liked how her eyebrows were plucked as to appear constantly offended by the world around her.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Nancy. Miss Grace knows how to make crime seem palpable in gated communities all across the nation. Nancy brings new meaning to that journalistic catch phrase, “If it bleeds, it leads.” Her new dimension: “If it’s rich or attractive . . . even better.” Only on her show can people like Anna Nicole Smith “speak out.”
I really ought to give these networks some credit, too. If Miss Grace is the sour face of CNN, indeed, CNN is the reckless source of her power. As a national network, these news stations have done something so noble, especially when it comes to crime and punishment.
If you don’t follow the news, you might not care, and maybe you shouldn’t. If you do, you know how I feel: proud. It’s that sense of pride you get when the media has become a function of its viewers, when journalists lose control of their news assignments that were pretty tough in the first place and when you know you drive the news agenda — even if you don’t care about it.
Some would argue reporting crime is more relevant at a local level, more legitimate. They clearly haven’t seen the ratings. Nancy Grace, much like parachute pants, is too legit to quit.
CNN claims to be the most trusted name in news, and I believe it. I would not trust anyone more than Nancy to hand pick which cheerleader’s disappearance resonates most with the American public.
Oh, right, I mean the viewing public America.