Dear Abby: I can’t believe it! My boyfriend of two years forgot our anniversary!! He thinks I’m overreacting for getting mad, but I seriously think this is grounds for breaking up. If this date isn’t important to him, what’s a wedding anniversary?

Okay, let’s face it: Anniversaries are a figurative benchmark for relationships. 

But it’s more than just a silly day on the calendar because love isn’t a silly construct. That date holds some weight —  it marks the day you went from “just dating” to something more official.

On a deeper level, it’s a celebration of everything you’ve built together. How you’ve evolved, supported each other and become a team. So when your partner brushes it off or forgets, it’s fair to think it’s a big deal.

Humans put a lot of stake in marking and celebrating special occasions that roll around once a year. Whether it’s your 36th wedding anniversary, your 16th birthday or even your 55th anniversary of establishing that one newspaper — milestones come in all forms — these dates are worth acknowledging. 

But why does it feel like the end of the world when natural human error or lack of preparedness causes us to forget a very integral date? Have we, as a generation, made relationships so casual we have lost sense of marking milestones?

Is the importance of anniversaries slowly fading away?

Make dating formal again

I am so over the nonchalant attitude most people today bring to the table when it comes to dating.

Stop waiting three hours to text back. Stop pretending that buying flowers is somehow beneath you. Stop being unclear with plans. Simply stop acting like you couldn’t care less about being in a relationship — because you’re certainly not going to win any hearts that way.

Good things come to those who wait, yes, but good things also come to those who put in the work — that means actually remembering and shelling out for anniversaries.

You don’t have to break the bank, but as a champion of old-fashioned romance, I say make it count. It’s the little things, the thoughtful gestures and the moments that show you’re all in. 

Sure, we love a lot of people, but love in a romantic context deserves a spotlight. That’s what makes this connection worth celebrating.

So, when you’re wondering if it’s worth it to remember those key dates, think about this: Love is a celebration. If you’re not going to make an effort, don’t expect anyone to. 

Why make a fuss?

You know, I once knew a girl who told me her boyfriend hates Valentine’s Day. He claimed he shouldn’t have to feel “obligated” to take her out because of some holiday — that he could do that any day of the year.

I tried to hear him out, but honestly, his reasoning just felt like a lame excuse for not wanting to put in the effort unless he was in the mood. To me, that says a lot about how seriously he takes the relationship. 

It’s easy to love someone when it’s convenient for you, but what about when it’s expected? That’s the difference between loving someone deeply and just coasting along.

I think the same applies to anniversaries. 

Much like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries are meant to be a special day for both of you to reflect on the growth and memories you’ve created together. It’s a day that, if you’re truly invested in the relationship, you both look forward to — and if not, then maybe it’s time to reassess.

Celebrating anniversaries isn’t purely about cake, flowers or fancy dinners. It’s about recognizing that you’ve built something real and meaningful with someone, and that’s worth honoring.

Don’t settle for less

Let me be blunt if I must, but to keep your partnership workable, you’ve got to plant your feet down firmly and lay out what you need. 

If you’re like me and you like to celebrate all the little stepping stones — the monthly anniversaries, the first day you met or the first time you said you loved them — then don’t settle for someone who doesn’t.

Relationship preferences also whittle down to how important the little things are. Don’t let some jerk dim your light because they don’t attach a lot of importance to sentimental things. 

To be loved is to be valued

Am I saying this is grounds for breaking up? It depends on the context. Humans are prone to error — but it’s how we react to our mishaps that reveals our true intentions.

So maybe hold off on chewing them out.

But also consider their reaction. Did it hurt them to miss such an important date? Do they seem bothered by the fact they didn’t remember something that was not only important to you but also meaningful to your relationship?

I think that will tell you how much they really value your time, your feelings and most importantly, you as a partner.

Now, I’m not saying you should only hang your hat on these special dates that are few and far between. Part of being in a relationship is still keeping the spark alive during the drone of day-to-day life.

But an anniversary, in any sense, is not just a celebration of time passed, but a recognition of the journey shared between souls. It is a reminder that love, like a tree, grows through the seasons — each ring marking the trials, the joys and the quiet moments that shape its roots.

To forget an anniversary is to forget the significance of growth itself. That love is not static but an evolving process, one that requires intention. In celebrating love, we affirm our commitment not only to the past but to the future we are creating.