Bopha Tun, a 21-year-old Cambodian immigrant, is currently a senior at Lesley University. But if you had asked her seven years ago, Tun could have never imagined she would have lived till her 21st birthday.
Raised by traditionalist Cambodian parents, Tun was forbidden to have friends, socialize or leave her house. She was taught that her place was in the kitchen and reminded everyday of her subordinate role to the men in her life. As she grew older, Tun’s father began to emotionally abuse her by chastising her about her A- grades and round figure. Tun’s emotional stress made her bulimic and suicidal.
“Every time I looked in the mirror I saw a fat, ugly, dumb person who couldn’t do anything right,” Tun said, fighting back tears. “Making my family happy became an obsession. I thought if I lost 10 to 15 pounds, life would be so much easier. I hated myself. I felt like a failure. Men intimidated me. I was a prisoner in my own home.”
Tun credits Girls Inc., a United Way program, with returning her sense of self-worth and reason to live.
“The staff at Girls Inc. gave me support during the most difficult times in my life,” she said. “They invested time and effort in me because they saw the good in me that I didn’t even see myself.”
The seventh annual Women’s Leadership fundraiser breakfast was held yesterday at the Copley Marriott to celebrate United Way success stories such as Tun’s.
More than 1,300 women donated both their time and money to United Way of Massachusetts Bay’s “Today’s Girls, Tomorrow’s Leaders” program to encourage mentoring, leadership and academic progress for girls between the ages of seven and 18. Last year, the leadership breakfast raised more than $2.8 million.
Judy George, founder and CEO of Domain Home Furnishings, was the morning’s keynote speaker. She shared her own success story as a entrepreneur.
Expecting to be promoted, George described how she had invited 50 family members to her home for a self-indulgent celebration party. However, when she drove to meet her boss in her brand new company-bought Jaguar, George was told that the company no longer needed her services, to take a taxi home — and leave the Jaguar behind.
George had just gotten what she called, “the cosmic boot that would change my life.”
“I raised my arm in the air and said, ‘as God as my witness I will never work for another human being as long as I live.” Launched in 1986, Domain was recently acquired for $25 million.
In her book “The Intuitive Businesswoman,” George writes, “What do you do when you expect your boss to promote you but instead he fires you? Cry all night in bed. Get up in the morning. Knock on doors. Raise $30 million. Start your own business.”
“Like a typical entrepreneur, I would have sold my husband and kids for money,” George recalled.
She advised young women to cultivate “perseverance, tenacity and courage. Live your dreams. If not, you’re going to be living someone else’s dreams.”
United Way of Massachusetts Bay was started in 1935 and has grown since then to become the chapter to which the most women donate $10,000 or more. According to United Way CEO Marian Heard, who has been in office since 1992, United Way has experienced a steady increase in volunteers, programs, events and donations.
Heard congratulated the women who attended the $60-a-plate breakfast and shouted, “We’re not here for scrambled eggs. We’re not here for bagels. We’re here for a movement. You got out of bed to show your support for young women everywhere.”
With a hint of song, she declared her advice to young women.
“You see it. You dream it. You want it. Go get it. It’s yours,” she said.
Anne Finucane, event co-chair and executive vice president and director of corporate marketing and communications of FleetBoston Financial, echoed Heard’s guidance.
“Is the theme not clear?” she asked. “It’s women helping women, and we have a record number of women in attendance.”
The fundraising goal of the breakfast was $2.8 million, and pledges of approximately $1.25 million had been collected within the first hour.