For the past week I have had tears streaming down my face. I have been constantly holding in my depression, anger, frustration and complete emptiness.
Wanna know why?
For two years in a row now, I haven’t been able to attend the spectacle, the supposed birthright of Terrier fans, that is Midnight Madness/Mania.
Let me clarify: Midnight Madness is basketball insanity at 12:00 a.m. Midnight Mania is the same thing, only on the ice (and with pucks, not basketballs). Last year was Midnight Mania, this year it’s Midnight Madness. And I can’t go.
How? Why? I’m the Hot Dog, damnit, I have obligations. There is no way this should happen, that I have to miss this. But sometimes your half-brother gets married and you have certain responsibilities at that wedding. Don’t worry, folks: I refuse to wear the brown and white tuxedos that everyone else in the wedding will be wearing. I’ll be in the Hot Dog costume (American flag included). Nothing says wedding more than a properly garnished wiener.
So what will I be missing? Let me give you a sneak peak.
Case Gymnasium will open at 10 p.m. Friday night. Get there early, file in and make sure you get a proper seat. This year there will be a BU basketball fan section. Hockey has 118 (and 108 on a good day), basketball has Section 2.
Why Section 2? Well, it’s right next to the band, right across from the opposing team’s bench and caddy-corner with the BU dance team. You’ll want a good look at all three.
The Dear Abbeys will sing some beautiful melodies to set the tone for the evening. Chris Parks and the BU band will give you a sample of what they’ve worked on in the offseason. Then the real fun will begin: the BU cheerleaders followed by the BU dance team.
Both the men’s and women’s basketball teams will be introduced, including the freshmen. Before you all get to see them for the first time, free food will be given out, including breakfast burritos. Breakfast burritos? Are you kidding me? I live for breakfast burritos, and now, the planners of this unbelievable event shove the fact I’m missing it right back in my face by giving them to everyone else. Despite how much I like sports, I would go simply for the breakfast burritos. I hate weddings.
The teams will be introduced and run some drills. Once loose, a slam dunk contest will go down. My guess on the contestants: Scott Brittain. I mean come on, he threw one down last year. Matt Killen. He’s a 6-foot-10 freshman from Kansas – what better way to show what he is all about by throwing down a 360-degree dunk reminiscent of Space Jam. Carlos Strong, simply because he jumps like he has metal legs. Kasey Devine – a forward on the women’s team who is 6-foot-3 and rocks No. 0 in games. I bet Kasey would love to make an impression on the BU faithful with a back or front flip dunk. You choose, Kasey.
In addition to the dunk contest, both men’s and women’s teams will compete in a 3-point contest and other showtime drills. Don’t think the coaches are getting off easy – it’s been rumored that both men’s coach Dennis Wolff and women’s coach Kelly Greenberg will be schooling audience members in one-on-one games the entire night.
Finally, the night will culminate in a fan throwing one up from half court for a chance to win $50,000 tuition for a year.
That is absurd, ridiculous and incomprehensible. If anyone mentioned I could have one free chance to win tuition for a year, I don’t care what it was, I would be there.
Entrance fee to this spectacle, you ask? Nothing. Enjoy your free tuition.
Obviously, the planning committee worked hard on this event. I love everything they’re busting out Friday night, but here are a couple things that should be at Midnight Madness.
BU Basketball Dance Dance Revolution Contest
The apparent favorite would definitely be Marques Johnson, based on the fact he was an extra on the movie “You Got Served.” Saying he knows a thing or two about how to dance is an understatement. Despite this, I would actually pick Valdas Sirutis to win a Dance Dance Revolution contest. Valdas is 6-foot-7 and has the body frame of a dancer – a DDR dancer. That’s no disrespect, Valdas. I just know you got moves.
Trampoline Slam Dunk
Contest
This would be so cool. Put a trampoline down in front of the hoop with a couple big blue pads beneath the rim and let the glory begin. The women’s team would be throwing down, Rhett would be tossing jams down, even Tyler Morris would treat the crowd. Hell, why stop at just one trampoline – I say put down trampolines all over the court. You got it, reinstitute the game of Slamball. Trampolines on nearly every square inch of the court, mid-air collisions and so many slam dunks you would get tired of seeing white men jump.
BU Dance Team versus the BU Cheerleaders – Mudwrestling
It’s like Coke versus Pepsi, UNC versus Duke, Yankees versus Red Sox. There is really no good way to settle who is ultimately better between the cheerleaders and the dance team. In my opinion there is no better way to solve any dispute between two opposite but equal forces other than a quick match of mudwrestling.
Shot Blocking Contest
A BU basketball player starts in the corner, a number of audience members start at mid-court. On the sound of a whistle, both a player and the contestant start at the same time. Hopefully the BU baller will swat whatever shot and or confidence that contestant has. I would love to see Corey Lowe do this. I know he’s got hops for shots.
Tug-of-War
Men’s basketball team versus the women’s basketball team. Some people would think this competition would be a one-sided affair. I beg to differ. You don’t play Division I women’s basketball and not pump as much iron as Ib Konate. And if the women’s team needs some help, just throw Jesus in at anchor.
I guess we’ll have to wait until next year for these solid ideas to be added to Midnight Madness.
Brian Fadem, a sophomore in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at [email protected].