In addition to the thousands of rowers and spectators who will descend on Boston for the Head of the Charles in ten days, 5,000 mothers and fathers will arrive on the Boston University campus to see the students many dropped off only weeks ago.
Parents weekend, with school and college receptions, a jazz brunch and musical symposiums, offers Terrier parents the opportunity to dive into the experience of their undergraduate daughter or son, if a little classier. Coupled with the Alumni Relations’ Parents Program and Parents Orientation, during which 4,489 students brought 3,782 parents with them to campus, BU works to keep parents connected to campus.
Always-interested and concerned parents call BU administrators on behalf of their students concerning everything from financial aid and textbooks to Terrier cards and housing. But while BU pushes for more involvement, parent phone calls and emails outlining concerns usually addressed by students has risen, according to administrators. With more students willing to take the backseat, is it beneficial for parents to direct their child’s course at BU?
LEARNER’S PERMIT
“A lot more offices really want a piece of [orientation] because parents are so vital to campus now … They want parents to know their services,” said Orientation and Off-Campus Services Director Shiney James. “Parents are talking to their students at a higher frequency.”
According to James, whose office also runs Parents Weekend, parents are more engaged about the orientation process.
“Parents get to schmooze a little bit more with administrators, whether it be a reception setting or during dinner,” she said.
James dismissed the notion that a heavy parent orientation schedule encourages more parents taking the reins from their students. George Sherman Union Director Annemarie Kougias gives a presentation during Parents Orientation titled “Parenting During the College Years,” which she has led since 1999. It encourages parents to let their students direct their own course.
“They do some scenarios and role plays and Annemarie is very straightforward with them about move-in,” James said. “This is the way move-in works and then you drop them at the dorm and you say, ‘Bye-bye.’ They will call you, they will email you. Trust us.”
James said 85 percent of the approximately 5,000 parents who attend Parents Weekend are freshman parents who attended orientation this past summer. The weekend, which begins on Friday, Oct. 19, is designed to give a broad picture of the university.
“Parents weekend has a lot of variety and shows the diversity on campus which a lot of universities don’t have,” James said. “They offer almost the same stuff, but it’s not the variety that we offer. They have the classic dinner, they have an athletics event. We have five. We have art. We have plays. And we have to do it multiple times because we can’t handle the capacity.”
Parents’ first brush with the BU community is often Parent Orientation — living at 10 Buick St. and following the footsteps of their sons and daughters choosing from 21 different scheduled events over three days. They get parenting tips from several panels and go on tours, city trips and learn more about their student’s school or college.
Having a set weekend for parents to visit is important, as many parents are just as interested in learning about theirs student’s school as they are in seeing them, James said.
“We can really focus on the different programming we can offer parents,” she said. “If we have all those things happening at once, we leave a great impression.”
CONTINUING THE RIDE
Parents who leave the University wanting more look to the Parents Program, directed by Bronwyn McCarty through the Alumni Relations office. The office is responsible for producing the biannual BU Parent magazine and sending out a monthly electronic newsletter.
“Times are changing,” McCarty said. “Parents are really wanting to be involved in their son or daughter’s education. They were really involved in their high school and want to be involved at college . . . It’s a program to keep that connection.”
They also coordinate the Parents Leadership Council, a group of 30 parents across the country who coordinate events in their communities, including welcoming new families and admissions receptions, as well as acting as an advisory board to the program.
Chairwoman Jeanne Knox, whose daughter graduated from the College of Communication in 2006 and whose son is a College of General Studies sophomore, was asked to lead the council five years ago, one of eight initial parents invited to the board.
The Council, which meets once a year, discusses how the university can better communicate with parents. Members are from 11 different states and two other countries. McCarty said they are searching for a parent from Asia to broaden their scope.
“The idea is that we have parents from all the different schools that represent a broad cross section of the undergraduate experience,” Knox, whose husband Robert is vice-chair of the Board of Trustees, said.
The Parents Leadership Council also includes the Parents Annual Campaign, which raised $930,000 last year. Council parents give at the “leadership level,” according to McCarty. The exact amount given is determined on a “case by case” basis, she said.
Council members organize and host parent events away from campus. Knox said she has hosted several parent receptions at her house, while others have been held in California, Texas and Washington.
“What we do is we have a cocktail party and put everyone in the room and they get to talk directly to administrators and it’s been very, very successful,” Knox said of the three or four events a year. “It’s an open minded discussion.”
“We’ve found over the years that parents are interested in hearing about all the wonderful things [students] are doing at school,” Knox continued. “But they don’t hear [from their students] about broader issues that concern the university. That’s what we try to address.”
Knox said the council does not fundraise during events.
“We do very little parent-to-parent solicitation,” she said. “Our events are just events. But we do talk about strategies for fundraising.”
For the first time, the Council is taking part in Parents Weekend, partnering with Dean of Students Kenneth Elmore to sponsor Saturday’s jazz brunch. The Council’s annual meeting will be held the day before.
“We felt like we wanted as a group to talk to more parents and hear their suggestions,” Knox said, “and hear their experiences and hear what they really liked or disliked about the parent experience so we can improve our program.”
BACKSEAT DRIVING
As a parent, Knox said despite being involved in off-campus events, she is a hands-off parent when it comes to her children’s time at BU.
“Quite frankly, what we’re really trying to do is not come in between the student and the university, but give the parents their own information and their own part of the university for them,” she said. “I believe that one of the ways that we can help the ‘helicopter parent’ to not handle their kids’ problems is with information. If they have the information they need and they trust the university will do the right thing, they’re more likely to let the student do what he or she has to do.”
Some parents, however, are either missing the information or the message, as the number of parents calling with concerns formerly addressed by students has increased, according to administrators.
“I have three messages from parents today,” Assistant Dean of Students and Judicial Affairs Director Daryl Deluca said last week. “The amount of parents that call has increased. Technology has made it easier for mom and dad to communicate with Johnny or Susie.”
Elmore, who said both parent and student calls have increased, agreed students are more communicative, piquing parents interests in concerns ranging from roommate conflicts to class selection.
Deluca, who has worked at BU since 1978, said he enjoys talking to parents. He said he and other administrators promote themselves, citing the 5,000 parents who received Elmore’s business card during orientation.
“But it’s a mistake to think that parents get a response quicker,” Deluca said. “Partially that’s true. It gets put on the radar. If the student doesn’t say anything, it doesn’t get taken care of. What I say to the parent is, ‘Have your child call me.'”
“You do a disservice to students when a parent calls and it gets taken care of it just like that,” he continued.
College of Arts and Sciences Academic Advising Director Kerry Buglio said the vast majority of calls she receives are from students, but parent calls have increased somewhat in her 12 years of higher education.
“When it comes to academic issues, they’re really the student’s experience and responsibility,” she said. “They’re going to know what’s going on for themselves.”
“Parents don’t always have all the information or know the right person to address a question to,” she continued. “[Students] think it’ll be done faster. The same answer comes regardless.”
Financial Assistance Director Christine McGuire said her office talks to parents a bit more, as they are an important part of the financial aid process, but said she agreed with the trend toward parent involvement overall.
“Parents are absolutely a customer we want to have,” she said. “I don’t think the increase has been the same [in Financial Aid] because parents have long been so involved.”
“We want the students to be proactive customers, especially if they’re taking out loans” McGuire continued.
Deluca, whose parents “couldn’t find the campus” when he was an undergraduate, said the mode of communication just may be what’s different.
“I get tons of emails from students,” he said. “Students email, parents call. Students have grown up on this [computer].”
While some situations are “so severe” parents have to get involved, Elmore said students can usually handle it themselves.
“I remind parents, part of why their daughter or son is here is to be more independent,” he said. “They should call with questions, but they shouldn’t take care of things for them.
“I hope they can rely on their parents when they need it,” Elmore said.