A couple weeks ago I went to see “Snatch” at a movie theater in Cambridge. As I walked through the lobby, my companion was staring intently at something, frozen. She told me to look across the lobby; sure enough, in all her pigtailed-glory, stood Natalie Portman.
At first, I stared to make sure it was really her. Then I stared because hey, she’s pretty cute. I wasn’t really star-struck, but the fact that she was there added an exciting element to the movie. The theater was abuzz with news that Queen Amidala was in attendance, and everyone was looking her way. After the movie she hopped into an SUV with some Harvard buddies and drove off into the Cambridge night.
On the way home I was thinking about young actors who go to college in Boston. Basically, they all go to Harvard; Natalie Portman, Jonathon Taylor Thomas from “Home Improvement,” and Tatyana Ali from “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” all party across the Charles. Beyond that I could only think of one other: A friend of mine at Tufts always touts how he lives in the same dorm as Jessica Biel, former star of the WB show “7th Heaven.”
Harvard may think it is cool, but look at the distinguished graduates of Boston University who have made their names in Hollywood. We’ve got Howard Stern, Julianne Moore, Jason Alexander, Geena Davis, and we even kicked out Rosie O’Donnell (rightfully so, I might add). We also have some lesser-none names, such as Cynthia Watros, who plays Titus’ girlfriend on the Fox show of the same name.
But the common factor is that none of these people arrive at BU already famous. While Harvard and other schools draw celebrity names to them, BU is just a stepping-stone on a way to a successful Hollywood career. I tried to buck the trend by wondering what celebrities we already have walking the Comm. Ave. sidewalks.
Last year we had Rick DiPietro, who was a minor celebrity at the time. He was in some major publications and will be an NHL All-Star someday, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal when he was here. I cannot impress my friends back home with the name Rick DiPietro.
There’s John Silber, who has achieved a level of fame through an unsuccessful run at governor and various poorly received interviews and columns. His image is way too sinister to have any marketing value.
We’ve also got the BU bum, who sits outside of the Barnes ‘ Noble and Warren Towers CampCo, but I think his appeal is limited to the students that contribute to his salary and the occasional hippie who sits down for a chat.
With this lack of star-power, we need to start making our own celebrities.
They’ll add an excitement to the campus that has been lacking since we were any good at hockey. Our choices for celebrity status should already have campus notoriety and the potential to become an icon.
It is no secret that the obvious choice should be Jesse Broder Van Dyke. We made one Howard Stern already, and now we are working on our second. It is very clear that he will have a very successful career in the field of chicks and beer, and we should be exploiting his name now.
But the problem with making Jesse a star is that he will be graduating at the end of the year, and then we’ll be at square one all over again. That is why maybe we should look toward the administration for some help in making a star. Since Silber is not the answer, we need to dig deeper. Our star should be a name we all know, but a personality we know nothing about.
Colin Riley.
Yes, BU spokesman Colin Riley. This guy gets more ink in the Free Press than that Anna’s Taqueria ad. It seems like whenever a Free Press writer needs a BU question answered, there’s Colin Riley with all the info. The majority of students could tell you what he does for a living, but none of us could point him out in a lineup.
We should start immediately. We need to know his vital stats, turn-ons and turn-offs, and what he does with his free time. I ran a search for Colin Riley on google.com, and no fan sites came up, just some info on a creepy-looking British composer. Now is the time to strike. We need young girls to camp outside of his office and scream a lot, TRL style.
Pretty soon he’ll be the most recognizable spokesman in the nation. BU will be on the tip of everyone’s tongue as the new hot spot for celebrities seeking an education. Harvard may have JTT, but he’s passe. We’ve got Colin Riley, future Teen Beat coverboy.
[Joey Arak is a sophomore in the College of Communication. ]
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