A brief history of The Daily Free Press, sorta

Isn’t it amazing when you sit down and think about all the things we take for granted on a daily basis? Simple things like cable TV, all-night T service and a football team. Uh, well, maybe we’re not taking those things in particular for granted … but for damn sure we’re taking oxygen for granted (or at least we will be until President Westling decides that students should spend their time in deep philosophical discussion rather than breathing).

Another thing we take for granted is the Free Press. In other countries, like Iraq or Idaho, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy an independent newspaper. As a matter of fact, we should thank heaven every day that we can express ourselves in print without fear of imprisonment, flogging or death by goat. So in celebration of our rights as Americans (no, put the gun down), my column is devoted to honoring The Daily Free Press by discussing its long and glorious history at Boston University. Sit back, relax and enjoy this avalanche of information that was confirmed by our fact-checker, Billy the drunken dwarf.

When BU was founded, way back in some year when people still wore knee-high socks, there was no student newspaper. Back then, students were more concerned with other matters, such as Great Britain and spelling words with an “e” at the end, so they had no need for a daily paper.

However, then the administration raised tuition from $6.78 to $6.83 a year, and the students were furious and needed a forum to protest. Thus “Ye Olde Daily Paper Advocating Against Tuition Increase Without Representation,” was born, a paper that was mostly a bunch of fiery articles about Chancellor Lord John of Silber and the occasional opinion piece about how Boston College sucks. This situation didn’t last very long though because back then there wasn’t a drinking age so everybody stopped caring about the tuition hike real fast.

However, when Prohibition struck in the early 1900s, BU students had a lot more free time on their hands, so once again they started a newspaper. This time articles focused more on the president’s refusal to allow radio antennae to be installed in the dorms. Despite the paper’s protests, the president did not yield because he felt that students should spend their time discussing important issues rather than finding out about important issues by listening to the radio. The paper folded again, and BU students used the time they would’ve spent listening to the radio to make bootleg liquor.

The Daily Free Press as we know it today was started in the early ’60s as a hippie rag. Back then it was called “The Daily Free-Love Press,” and focused mainly on beads, tie-die and how “The Man” was raising tuition. However, back then everyone was doing a lot of acid, so the paper only came out about once a month because the editors were afraid of the “giant-slime-creature-death-monster-thing-wombat-man” that “lived in the darkroom.” It is also worthy to point out that at that time the typical Free Press monthly budget broke down into the following sections:

1. Paper

2. Ink

3. Phone Bills

4. Snacks, because oh man do we get the munchies ‘round here!

Then the ’60s ended and free-love was out and disco was in. Everyone started doing cocaine, and the paper came out every hour on the hour, thus being renamed “Oh My God the Printing Press Melted!” Obviously this phase didn’t last long, so they just called it “The Daily Free Press.” The name was kind of catchy, so it stuck (even though the paper actually cost $2.99 per copy until 1983).

The ’70s marked a period of no photos in the Free Press because everybody realized how stupid they looked and didn’t want to have any pictures for their kids to laugh at in 20 years (note: if the Gap doesn’t wise up and get over this whole tight jeans on men phase, we may enter that period again).

Nobody cares about the ’80s.

The ’90s marked a period of change for the Free Press. The staff finally stopped doing (most) drugs, and typical features of a newspaper were instituted, like a sports section, horoscopes and subliminal images that make you want to eat at the George Sherman Union.

And there you have it, the history of The Daily Free Press. Don’t you feel better now that you’ve learned something? I know that the columns are supposed to be mindless fun without any redeeming value. I promise next week there will be more references to midget lumberjacks or something. For the time being, just be glad that the Free Press is run independent of the University, so Westling and Silber can’t shut it down so that students will spend more time not watching TV. I’m thankful that I can write sentences like that without fearing that the state would punish me with yak-trampling.