My friends wanted me to write my column about some of the absurdities and random occurrences we encounter in daily life at BU. This includes some of the strange gadgets and foods in the Myles dining hall: the toasters that spontaneously catch fire, the clever recipes you make when you’re feeling adventurous or need to eat in a hurry or Late Nite chopsticks.
However, I couldn’t decide among these thought-provoking themes so I will give each one a mini-chance to shine.
According to reliable eyewitness reports, Myles dining hall’s toaster ovens (which have been used since this place was a mental institution) are prone to unexpectedly burst into flames. Though I have never seen this spectacle, I hear that even more entertaining than the fiery ball of metal and toast are the apathetic reactions of the dining hall employees and students waiting for breakfast.
One time, a friend of mine was sleepily awaiting one of Jack’s famous omelettes when the industrial toaster exploded. Everyone just kind of looked at it and kept aimlessly searching for edible breakfast victuals.
Speaking of victuals, I was instructed to mention some recipes for some not so-difficult-to-master creations. Here is how you can pretend to be Emeril. My favorite of these recipes is “microwave waffles a la mode.” Take a waffle, any waffle, nuke it and stick ice cream on top. Repeat microwaving if desired.
Another even more delectable dish is my roommate Jessica’s ghetto s’mores. This consists of melted chocolate chips stolen from the ice cream bar (these can be nuked or melted directly via flaming toaster), golden grahams and marshmallow fluff. Mix ingredients together till you achieve s’morey goodness. Warning: fluff may explode in the microwave, mushrooming like an A-bomb.
This next recipe, the “last-minute-gotta-get-the-bus-fold-over sandwich” has sparked some controversy between my culinary cohorts. What is faster to make when that big yellow bus is a-rumblin’ and mom is screaming?
“The half sandwich! Reach in, grab a slice, not two there’s no time! Peanut butter, boom, jelly, boom, fold, run! You’re makin’ that bus my friend!”
“It takes just as much time to grab that second slice of wheaty breadness, which makes for a full nutritious lunch. You’ll still make the bus, but won’t be snacking on Cheetos later!”
Perhaps the best suggestion my friends had to offer me this week dealt with a keen dining hall observation. Aside from their functional use as utensils, the Late Nite chopsticks for the sushi delights provide hours of entertainment.
The wrapper holding the said sticks reads: “Welcome to Chinese restaurant enjoy your Chinese chopsticks, part of China’s Glonus history and cultural.” No, the new Editorial Page Editor has not gone AWOL. I have actually transcribed the words off of this university-quality packaging.
This week, I hope to escape the absurd musings of my friends and the loony encounters of the dining hall by holing up my room with the Abslide and meditating on thoughts of Suzanne Somers’ stomach and weather warm enough for sunbathing on the BU beach.
The biggest threat to my fragile sanity has been Mugar library, which continually lacks the common psychological journals that I long for to do research papers. It wouldn’t get me down if the electronic index did not first say that the journals were indeed present. But, when I’m in those stacks, trying to ignore people making sweet love in the next aisle, and I don’t find the journal that the computer says Mugar has, I’m ready to throw books at the bare buns spectacle.
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