Spring is a great time for Boston. The “Hub of the universe” seems oddly worthy of this questionable nickname for a few spring months as college students stroll rather than briskly walk and roller-blading esplanaders replace ice skating pigeons. Everyone’s got a smile in Boston when spring rolls around — maybe for a one-night stand but perhaps for the real thing: a real, big time, “Meet the Parents” — type of three-month relationship. I love you, spring.
And whether or not spring is really here to stay or just to visit with bunt cake and wedding pictures, the general feeling is the same. Spring’s either here, or it’s just around the corner. To Bostonians, “just around the corner” is just as good as here.
We live our Bostonian lives “just around the corner.” The Red Sox will do it this year, just around the corner. The streets won’t be a civic embarrassment much longer, just around the corner they’ll be fixed. Just around the corner, it becomes Brookline so you don’t have to worry about going to jail for holding a beer. You know — it’s a pretty common theme — Boston Common.
Already, things are starting to stir. The Swan Boats — a real Public Gardens tradition and photo-op — will be set afloat later this month, officially kicking off a Boston spring with everybody’s favorite mayor and public-speaker, Thomas Menino. Menino will mount the ceremonial first swan vessel peddle-boat creation with several hand-picked Boston-area school children, who will surely giggle at Uncle Tom’s jokes and marvel at the vast space within the pond, slightly fearing their voyage. Menino, despite being an admittedly large man, will not shy away from peddling duties. A good time will be had by all.
And then the spring floodgate opens. Baseball season will be in full effect, not swing (Do not write swing. Stay away from swing, please), as will be the always fiery Fenway Park debate. There is the “it’s a piece of our history, let’s preserve it” crowd and the “yeah, and the Great Depression was a part of our history too, schmuck” crowd. These crowds don’t usually mix well, except for — oddly enough — at Red Sox games.
As long as there is a blue-shirted overweight man squatting over another man yelling “ball,” the two sides can get along peacefully — even exchanging the occasional high-five. The two sides of the Fenway debate — let’s call them the “keepers” and the “rebuilders” — both want what’s best for the hometown beanball swingers. So for nine-inning spans from now until October, these two political armies will throw down their weapons and join together in the sacred tradition of getting drunk and eating hotdogs at near-illegal rates while chanting, “Yankees Suck,” at the guy three rows back who’s giving everyone the finger. It’s a beautiful thing.
But not all Boston spring sports offerings carry ugly Purist vs. Visionary debate baggage. Monday’s Marathon is a little slice of perfection delivered in a shoebox, soaked in Gatorade. There’s nothing better than standing on the side of the street with a beer in one hand and a hamburger in the other, cheering on world-class runners who would rather practice incontinence than slow down, and expecting that the athletes would accept your outstretched high-five instead of giving you a tired scoff, right? This is a great Boston tradition — right up there with Ted Danson and civic-square political upheavals. I can’t imagine spring without it.
And speaking of politics, Boston loves to shake things up for spring. Former Gov. Paul Cellucci has taken off to answer the higher call of George Walker Bush.
“Hey, Paul — want the easiest job in politics?”
“Governor of Texas, the most politically inactive state in the Union?”
“Well, no, second easiest: Ambassador to Canada.”
“Can I hang out with Rick Moranis?”
“Paul, I’ll see what I can do.”
And so off Paulie skips to the Great White North to make sure that the ever-volatile U.S.-Canada relations aren’t shaken up too extremely. Every once in a while several Canadian officials will shuffle into Cellucci’s plush office, complete with Moose’s head, and say things like, “I believe Canada and the United States can partner up in a collective stance against people dying in fires,” or something equally earth shattering.
Cellucci will respond, “What ribbon do I have to cut, and with which scissors,” and history will be made over and over throughout his term.
Meanwhile Lt. Gov. Jane Swift will monopolize the state police helicopter fleet, bringing relatives in to attend her baby shower, while governor’s aides walk around with trays serving melon ball ham wraps. Secretary of State William Galvin will be forced to entertain Swift’s older daughter’s playgroup by wearing a bunny costume.
And then with the State House in shambles, the Red Sox “just around the corner” from the pennant, the Swan boats charmin’ the tourists, and thousands of people running through Kenmore Square, we know that spring has arrived.
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