Have you ever shared a magnificently magical moment with someone? You know, that split second we all live for: that precious instant when you fall in love (or lust) at first sight. Many of us have had these wonderful run-ins with fate, but then for whatever reason the journey has been interrupted.
Well, fear not! Here is your chance to find that elusive person and keep them in your life. I have canvassed the campus asking fellow Terriers if they have ever experienced the “crossed stars phenomenon” and the results are delectable. These are real incidents with real people, so read carefully: SOMEONE COULD BE LOOKING FOR YOU!
When: October 6, 1999 to present day.
Where: In front of apartment 205.
Me: A gaunt yet well-built blonde, contemporary version of Clark Kent.
You: The cutest, most captivatingly curvaceous inhabitant of Bay State Road.
Moment: The coy smile you flash at my childish antics, you know, me hitting on you like an ass over a megaphone.
Find Me: Be my Lois Lane, join me on my velvet Kryptonite couch and help me hold my megaphone. And remember, size doesn’t matter: it’s the motion of the ocean baby!
When: Two weeks ago.
Where: Case Athletic treadmill area.
Me: A calm, collected, luscious beauty with sparkling eyes dressed in tight black workout pants and a hot pink tank top.
You: A big beautiful man with playfully fuzzy hair and masculine hands.
Moment: I was running on the treadmill when I noticed you taking manly gulps from the water fountain. I was so taken back by your gorgeous eyes, I nearly fell off.
Find Me: The next time you see a hottie struggling to stay on her feet while running, smile if you like what you see. I will come up to you … if you’re lucky.
When: This past February.
Where: CGS Room 215.
Me: A smooth, manly, ripped almond-eyed stud with a sweet, sweet caramel complexion.
You: A woman with a beautiful smile and a charming voice who carries herself in an irresistibly reserved fashion.
Moment: You were working at the desk, and I strolled up to you and inquired, “Do you run track?” You said, “I did in high school.” Then I said, “Well, you should come out for the team, so I can see you.”
Find Me: Word, you don’t have to be on the team to see me every day. Come to the Armory track in the Shed and visit. I will be the smokin’ guy with no shirt stopping mid-stride to get your digits.
When: Every afternoon between my Earth Science and Sacred Journeys classes.
Where: On the steps in front of the Tsai Center.
Me: A blue-eyed looker with strawberry blonde hair dressed in ravishing red corduroys.
You: A mysterious, handsome, dark curly-haired Ravvy Shankarr fan.
Moment: We made some serious eye contact and spoke with our eyes. It gave me chills of excitement and anticipation.
Find Me: The next time you are wearing your red leg covering, look for the superstar wearing the same. We can get together, and, if you would be so kind, you can light the next Marlboro Light to touch my lips.
When: Last Tuesday.
Where: GSU, Cranberry Farms.
Me: Starving for some enticing conversation (and some turkey), drooling over you (and some mac and cheese).
You: Simply delicious.
Moment: My attention turned away from a side dish dilemma suddenly to you placing that delicate order for a “Country Lunch” sandwich.
Find Me: Whether you like your turkey dark or white, call me to find that special bite.
When: Last spring.
Where: The whirlpool at Case Athletic.
Me: An injured damsel in distress with a great body accentuated by a well-endowed chest.
You: A gorgeous man in green mesh shorts whose build puts a Sherman Tank to shame.
Moment: I was in the cool whirlpool when I turned around and saw you emerging from the hot tub in that special erotic after-school TV special fashion.
Find Me: I lust for you. Let us rendezvous in that hot tub after hours for an unadulterated “injury rehab” session.
When: Last week.
Where: In front of CAS.
Me: A shy guy wearing a Manchester United Soccer jersey with old man pants.
You: Slim, tan, brown hair, big bright brown eyes: an innocent looker with a hint of wild.
Moment: You were talking to my roommate when I put on sunglasses to shield my eyes from your radiance.
Find Me: It will be easy. I am going to walk up to you without saying a word, grab your hand and pull you close to me, kissing you gently. Then, I will whisper in your ear, “There is nothing in the world that could have stopped me from doing that.”
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