Bruce Willis Moonlights At Avalon With The Accelerators

It was hardly the typical crowd at Avalon last Friday. There were men in their mid-40s wearing leather jackets, desperately trying to prove to themselves that they still know how to rock. There were women in their 50s there just because they love Bruce Willis. There were maybe two people under the age of 30. They all packed into Avalon each with a small bubble of personal space almost unheard of at the venue—this truly wasn’t your everyday Avalon experience.

Half-hearted cheers of “Bruce, Bruce, Bruce” started occasionally, but would usually end with a giggle. Unlike the young crowds that normally inhabit the space, no one seemed overly bothered by the 45-minute wait following opening act Ivan Neville. But that didn’t stop them from cheering as actor Bruce Willis, star of the “Die Hard” trilogy and countless other films, finally took the stage.

Willis sported a black T-shirt, a black over-shirt and a well-worn black leather jacket. As his band began their first blues jam of the night, Willis displayed his competent vocals and embarrassingly bad dancing. To his credit, Willis was just there to have fun and never took himself too seriously. While not a master showman, he played the crowd well enough, making props to both the J. Giles Band and the New England Patriots. During an audience response song, he even asked the audience to sing back his classic line from “Die Hard”: “Say, ‘Yippie kay aye, motherf**ker.'” One old woman standing next to me gasped.

The band tore through one blues standard after another. Willis occasionally played harmonica solidly, though not as good as one of the other members in his band could. The best song of the night was easily “What Good is Your Stove If It Don’t Give Off Much Heat?,” an instrumental blues song during which Willis spent most of the time offstage.

Unfortunately, the extended jams grew boring fairly quickly. If Willis was having fun with some superior musicians, perhaps the show would have been much more entertaining. But the Accelerators were merely solid—an opening act for a better blues band, at best. Their solos were underwhelming, and the longer they went on, the more they showed their weaknesses. This was hardly a band of Eric Claptons; there was an unfortunate lack of variety and skill.

But then came Ivan Neville, son of the Neville Brothers’ Aaron Neville. Neville and his band joined Willis and company for the final four songs of the evening. Both bands together performed the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” and the Beatles’ “Come Together,” with Neville’s back-up singer taking lead vocals.

Willis returned to the stage for the final song of the evening wearing a Patriots jersey, which he quickly removed, showing that, even in his late 40’s, he still puts most men to shame. Before playing Spencer Davis’ “I’m a Man,” Willis said, “I know what you’re all thinking. ‘G*ddamn, Bruce can’t sing, can’t dance and some of his movies suck.’ But can you play a fireplace shovel like this?” He began playing the makeshift instrument with a stick and both bands quickly joined in, and provided a fun close to an otherwise lackluster evening.

Bruce Willis and the Accelerators were, at the very least, amusing. There was the novelty of actually seeing Bruce Willis on stage performing, and the crowd seemed to have a good time. So I guess, in the end, that’s what matters. Sure, the music left much to desired, but did anyone really expect otherwise? Bruce Willis and the Accelerators were the best kind of bad—the laughable kind.