One of my professors this semester has an interesting slant on things. His specialty lies in the realm of apocalyptic studies. So, in the course of his lectures, he often subtly reminds us that the end could very well be near. And here at BU, we are constantly reminded of the all-too-real possibility of impending doom. Witness the unbridled anarchy that enveloped our campus following the Patriots victory. Was this uncharacteristic display of student unity just a momentary reaction to a Super Bowl victory or was it, as one bemused spectator put it, a “sign of the times?”
Sports Illustrated traditionally runs “This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse.” Well, here is my own spiffy version, except this extra-special, BU-exclusive edition is packed to the brim with at least a decade’s worth of apocalyptic potpourri. So, without further ado, I present Nine Signs of the Apocalypse. Don’t be paranoid, though. No one’s out to get you … or are they?
College of (lack of) Communication: Turn on your TV. Good, now what do you see? Static? Wow, it’s interesting how we have such a reputable communication program here at BU, known far and wide as a top school in the field. Yet COM continues to have a lackluster building and many programs that seem to lack any real support. Ever heard of something called BUTV? I’ve barely heard of it, and I write for the thing. Unfortunately, practically nobody gets to see the hard work that goes into such student-produced TV shows like Overexposed and Baystate because there is no good outlet through which they can be broadcast. Meanwhile, cable TV is still deemed to be nothing more than a waste of time by a few out-of-touch administrators who don’t seem to realize they run a school that offers a major in television. When the world ends, we won’t be watching it on CNN, that’s for sure.
The awning over Warren Towers: If that grotesquely ugly, fading yellow contraption adorning Warren Towers isn’t a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is. Maybe a sharp black and red paint-job (please, sans Pepsi logo) would be just the thing to eliminate this very unnecessary eyesore.
We are ready for some football: We can’t support a football team? Tell that to the thousands of crazed students who filled the streets of Boston to celebrate the Patriots’ championship win. The sight of apathetic BU rallying around a football team is surely a sign of the apocalypse, right? If we can gather huddled in dorms, watching the Big Game on fuzzy TV screens (not me though — I get good reception), then why couldn’t we get excited about BU football?
That ’80s Show: While I’m writing about signs of the apocalypse …
Early ’90s Nostalgia: Play me some Nirvana and give me a tape of Beavis and Butthead. Apparently, nostalgia is now big business. Or was that last year? In any case, at the current rate of nostalgia-meets-pop culture pervasiveness, in six months’ time we’ll all be reminiscing about the days when the millennium was fresh and new. Man, remember when Jordan was still retired? That was great. So now we have That ’80s Show? That is so 1998. Remember in 1999 when end-of-the-world predictions were cool? Me neither.
Starbucks owns your soul: Don’t you get that Orwellian feeling sometimes walking around the BU campus? With a Starbucks on every corner (now on West Campus!) there’s no excuse not to feed that caffeine addiction. If BU had to sell its soul, couldn’t it have at least struck a deal with Krispy creme? Everyone keeps telling me they’re so good.
Student Union mania: It’s running wild over BU — suddenly, we seem to care about the inner-workings of the Union, and I’m not talking about George Sherman. It’s true, scandal and controversy are traits usually reserved for “real” politicians, but so are productivity and initiative. On one hand, this seems like an unsettling sign. First we care about the Student Union, then we’ll be flooding the dining halls with those little suggestion slips (I know I will — I want my Rasberry-Lemon juice in Shelton, darn it).
SFwhat?: The first thing we hear about changes to SFA in months and its nothing more than a name change? Whatever the initials may be, they do not point to real change. We can change CAS to CAC, COM to MOM and SMG to VH1, but in the end it just doesn’t matter. BU right now faces issues such as rising tuition, academic buildings in disrepair and whole lot of students who are not exactly content with their school. A little good PR never hurt anybody.
Those Four Horsemen Descending From the Heavens Outside My Window: Aren’t these guys supposed to be a sign of the apocalypse or something? Nah, who’d believe that?
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