Solving Fulfillment Comes First

At first I intended only to delve deeper into Danny Baram’s rant about the rule of the Ice Queens and Chillie Willies on campus (“Is it cold in here?” Feb. 19), but when I spied Devon Donohue’s letter, “Wake up to other involvements,” about apathy on the preceding page, I thought, “Ah. Connection.”

Let me attempt to address the problems our writer friends elucidated so passionately. I invite you to ask the questions, Why do so many people seem apathetic, even downright cold? I must admit that Danny’s solutions to rampant unfriendliness and Devon’s answers to the plague of egocentrism were merely behavioral. Danny: “Don’t be the person who conveniently forgets that the guy or girl sitting across from you at lunch sat next to you last semester every day in philosophy class.” Devon: “Turn off your cell phone … Go visit the Wellness Center, just because.” I agree with them completely, but I fear they fall short of convincing the people they are really trying to reach, because they did not ever touch the root cause of the problem.

So, let us do it together, right now. If you’re the type that doesn’t look people in the eye, especially strangers, why is it so difficult? My suspicion is that you are afraid to. However, the fear is purely your own fantasy. No one can make you afraid —only you can do that. Why do you never smile when you’re walking among the throngs of fellow students? I can’t say I smile all the time, but usually it’s because I’m thinking. Very well, disregarding those cases, let’s take the T-driver who yells at people. The security guard with the Napoleon complex. Just saying, “Don’t be this way” will not change anybody Danny, especially to someone’s face. If anything, it makes the person more hostile. Instead, I would contend that a T-driver’s job is so atrociously mind-numbing that it eventually gets to him. Here is a man or woman using his or her energy to push a total of four buttons in sequence for several hours. His job has reduced him to a robot; no wonder he forgets what it means “to be a human being.” I would too.

I think it is that simple. Change, though, is difficult. Simple, but difficult. I believe if a writer wants to change things, especially people, he has to really try to empathize with his audience. So, going back to Devon’s problem of self-absorbed students, I agree completely that people are too busy — too wrapped up — to “miss a weekly meeting and see Stage Troupe” or what have you. So many people work and think all week just to drink and smoke all weekend, making you wonder why they bother at all. Why do people embrace such excess? Their moods are all over the charts. Their sex drives are overheated. They form sexual relationships purely to feed their silly pride. They don’t know why they get depressed, sometimes to the point of killing themselves. We all know these people exist, from college students to CEOs, and it is just one behavior pattern out of dozens to which this problem of sadness applies. But why do they take themselves so seriously that it hurts? And what will it take to open their minds? It is a question for everyone: What is good for us? Is our work fulfilling us? Are our drugs, or sex, fulfilling us? It is a question that will lead to a solution. A command to change will not.