WARMING THE BENCH: Let’s All Go Bloody Curling!

With a week until the NHL gets back underway and the Red Sox positional players still moseying down to Fort Myers, I thought now would be a good time to share some thoughts on the Olympics before the Salt Lake City games shut down.

One of my favorite aspects of the winter games is watching the random sports that people in this very country actually take part in. Tonight, the US women’s curling team will take on Switzerland in the semi-finals. How does one decide to dedicate their life to such a sport? You push a big heavy rock and your teammates furiously sweep the ice to keep it moving. This sport could render the Zamboni completely useless. Who needs a big cumbersome truck, when there are athletes dying to get out there and sweep the ice?

Then there are the cross-country skiing combo events. The biathlon involves cross-country skiing and shooting while the Nordic combines cross-country skiing with the long jump. These events don’t even have anything to do with one another. Apparently somebody decided that by itself cross country skiing was boring to watch, but add the element of violence or a potential for injury, kick back and watch the ratings soar.

I hate to even get started on the skeleton. Lie down head first on a tiny little sled and speed down an icy track with only a dinky helmet to protect your head in case of a high-speed collision with the walls. Is this really a sport? Sure there’s competition and the always-important potential for injury, but couldn’t anyone with a death wish or lacking in brain cells grab a sled and become an immediate medal contender?

As far as the Salt Lake City games go, nothing has been as captivating as “Skategate 2002”. Judges being bought off, widespread investigation into the entire ruling system, plus more airtime for David Pelletier and Jamie Sale than all the other athletes in Olympic Village combined. Pairs figure skating has never been and will never be bigger.

On the same note, how meaningful is it to be the best in the world at something if you have to share it with someone else. Both the Canadians, Sale and Pelletier, and the Russians, Berezhnaya and Sikharulidze, gold medals in pairs skating will forever be marred with an asterisks signifying a year in which corruption forced the sport to declare two champions.

In these games, even a sport like Speed skating has become controversial. NBC beat us over the head with details of Apolo Anton Ohno’s courageous life, and then Australian Steve Bradbury came from nowhere to beat him in the men’s 1000m short track speed skating event. Ohno was leading his race until he was knocked down when another competitor caused a major collision and allowing the Aussie mired in last place to scoot around him and claim the gold medal that was to be Apolo’s.

Wayne Greztky is cracking under the pressure of being responsible for the Canadian Olympic Hockey team. The Great One unleashed an uncharacteristic tirade after the Canadian’s team disappointing play in the opening round, claiming that the whole world was against Canadian hockey. Yeah Wayne, that’s your problem. The world is out to get Canada.

Team USA, meanwhile, is playing the best hockey in Utah, and while they are exciting to watch; I am awed by the Russian line of Federov, Samsonov, and Kovulchuck. The speed and offensive talent on that one line is incredible and I would love to see them play together on a regular basis, but that would probably be unfair to the rest of the NHL.

If there’s one event that resulted in a domination of this great nation, it’s the men’s half pipe in Snowboarding. A clean sweep for the USA with three men under 25, Ross Powers, Jarrett Thomas, and Danny Kass, on the medal stand. We are, we are, the Youth of the Nation.

As far as NBC’s coverage, I think they would do well to add a few more commercials, because five solid minutes of an event is just too long. Between the ads, and the human-interest pieces, the actual events seem choppy and incomplete. Bode Miller grew up without electricity or plumbing, because his parents wanted a life free from the burden of modern amenities. Todd Eldridge comes from a family of fishermen. While every athlete has a story, NBC shouldn’t feel responsible to tell them all at the expense of airing complete competitions.

There is less than a week left in the 2002 games, and while the events might be wacky and the coverage suspect, I will tune in till the end. These great games come along just once every four years, and who knows when another juicy controversy might arise?