Avoid abortion, make money

n A recent issue of The Daily Free Press indicated that a significant percentage of the abortions performed in this country involve college women (“Abortion rates in United States lowest since landmark court case,” Jan. 23, pg. 1). Some people call this statistic an appalling sign of the dehumanization of the unborn; I call it just plain wasteful. A healthy infant can sell for as much as $80,000 on the black market, and these girls are just throwing all that money away. A fetus is not a person, it’s a fortune!

There are plenty of infertile couples out there that are too rich and too lazy to spend years tied up in the red tape of legal adoption processes. At the same time, there are plenty of women carrying around unwanted zygotes. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call supply and demand. Sure, you could keep the baby and try to struggle through life as an undereducated and bitter parent, but isn’t there a better way? How about this: instead of presenting your boyfriend with a little bundle of doubtful-paternity joy, get him that Viper he has been lusting after. Heck, go on a romantic cruise together, and start working on your next $80,000 venture!

Instead of getting distracted by fuzzy moral debates of “right to life” or “right to choice,” we need to focus on the real issue here: the wasteful attitudes bred by the American consumerist economy. There are children dying of starvation all over the world, but over here women won’t take thousands of dollars that are theirs for the taking. Seriously girls, when was the last time you got paid 50 grand for nine months worth of work?

Ladies, don’t think of it as an unborn child, think of it as an investment in your future. The money from the sale of just one infant could pay off all your student loans, with enough left over for a down payment on the house you will one day share with your husband and whichever babies you decide are “keepers.”

Adria Gottesman-Davis

CAS ’04