‘MPERSAND

It’s almost summertime, and soon the livin’ will be easy once school’s out for summer. No more teachers, no more books, no more RA’s dirty looks. But what about those poor souls taking summer classes, or just stuck in hot and sticky Beantown for the dog days of summer? We here at the ol’ Free Press have some suggestions for those trapped to keep busy.

It wouldn’t be summer without juvenile pranks, and nothing says juvenile like dog poo. The bored BU student can perform the time-honored gag of lighting a bag of canine feces on fire on Chancellor Silber’s doorstep. Repeat for 90 days, or switch off between his South Campus abode and swank SMG office.

Other summer activities include counting down the days until BC has a very, very unlikely shot of winning the Beanpot, watching the new ‘T’ cars derail and taking enough hallucinogens to build sand castles on BU’s seemingly realistic beach.

However, the real opportunity for summer fun is taking advantage of the pre-frosh constantly rotating through orientation sessions and eventually moving in.

Simply donning a red T-shirt gives anyone the chance to ‘help’ people move their belongings particularly stereos, laptops and prized memorabilia.

Giving incoming freshmen a tour can turn ‘guides’ into important resources, and just imagine the fun of pointing out their most likely new home, the Hyatt. Just make sure the Village’s towers frame it nicely. Another highlight of the tour: The Towers’ dining hall, where ‘guides’ can emphasize that at least the food won’t give you SARS.

Finally, make sure the pre-frosh pay attention to Director of Judicial Affairs Deluca. Along with ever-so-important warnings about fake IDs, they can get much needed advice about how to score with college chicks without being a rapist: even if they say no, it’s OK to ask again later.