March 2004 will go down in history as the month McDonald’s decided to abolish its ‘Supersizing.’ The reason? To simplify their menu. As they reported the story, the ‘astute’ news anchors insinuated that this reason was hogwash, that the franchise has finally buckled under the pressure of complaints coming from the nation’s obese consumers. I, on the other hand, believe that McDonald’s reason for 86ing its Supersizing is the most sincere arrayal of words ever to come out of Ronald McDonald. Why does the restaurant want simplification? Well, so it can cheaply employ more Latino immigrants who don’t speak English. It’s obvious that too many orders are getting messed up lately because the menu (with its numerous size options) is much too confusing for the non-English employees. What you want is what you get? Not any more, folks; not in 21st century franchised America. McDonalds’ ultimate goal is to make everything in their restaurant operate so easily that it only takes the mind of a Guatemalan fifth grader to run the place. The franchise finally realized that its hiring of cheap immigrant labor and its promise to give customers “what they want, what they get” are incompatible. Unfortunately, they’re doing away with the latter, not the former.

Matt Burns (508) 317-0347 [email protected] COM ’04