In roughly 35 days, I will be a college graduate. I like to think that my long tenure in the food service industry will also come to a close soon. In a few short months, I will be on the other end of the table. I’ll be harassing the waitress for another side of barbecue sauce. I won’t be the one running to the other end of the restaurant for the pain in the ass sitting at my table. Here, I pay homage to my fellow waiters and waitresses, hosts and hostesses, barkeeps and barmaids citywide. It’s also a lesson in dining etiquette that I feel is overdue for Boston diners, students and civilians alike.
Here’s the thing: In the eight years of my food service indentured servitude, I’ve learned that the majority of the American dining public hasn’t got a clue. They have no clue how to specify what they’d like to eat and how they’d like it prepared. They have no clue how to calmly address an issue if there’s a problem with their food. They have no clue how to ask their server for something without treating that server like a mindless peon. And above all, they have no clue how to properly tip.
Tipping is a touchy subject. The word “gratuity” basically means the money that is left to supplement the employee’s hourly wage. As a waitress, I make $2.63 per hour. Therefore, the tips I make are not merely augmenting my hourly wage – they are my hourly wage.
Listen up: Many people think 15 percent is the appropriate amount to tip their server. It’s not. Maybe it was in 1972 when gas was $9 cheaper per gallon and rent was $3,000 less per month, but industries that rely upon tipping are also included in the economics of inflation. Even though the hourly waitress wage has not fluctuated much over time, waiters and waitresses still have to deal with the repercussions of inflation. Twenty percent is generally the new accepted gratuity amount among respectful diners who do not live under rocks. Besides, the mental calculation of 20 percent is easier math – your brain will thank me later.
Here’s where many will ask, “But what if the service was unacceptable?”
First, every restaurant guest needs to think about what qualifies as unacceptable service and whether the fault of lies in the server. The first of the 873 pet peeves I have about the American public is its unwillingness to politely lodge a complaint and have a mistake rectified.
The universal law of waitering is to check back on a table after a few minutes to make sure all the food has been prepared correctly and the guests are satisfied. Some diners find this annoying; some think that the server is just going through the motions with a droning, “How is everything” as he or she is running by the table. Generally, a server truly wants to know if there’s a problem so it may be fixed.
I hate when I see that a guest who ordered a medium rare steak has cut into the meat and it is charred and brown. I hate that when I say, “I know you ordered the steak medium rare and it seems to be on the well done side – can I bring you a new one?” he is annoyed and snaps, “No really, Miss, it’s fine.” I hate that when I clear his plate, the steak is left half-eaten, and when I ask how everything was, he offers a weak, “Okaayyy … but my steak was a bit overdone.” And above all, I hate when I receive a 10 percent tip from the meek jerk.
As both someone who serves the public and someone who loves to eat out, I understand the bitter disappointment of a poor dining experience. Eating out is often for a special occasion – a first date, a fiftieth date, an engagement, a birthday, a guest in town, celebrating our laziness to shop for and cook a meal. When I eat out, I want to have fun and feel satiated. When I work, I want my guests to feel the same.
I have to convince many of my guests to spit it out (bad pun intended) if there’s a problem. When I’m particularly frustrated, I think of a scene from the movie Jerry Maguire. I crouch down so I’m eye level with my guests, I place my palms flat on the table and I say what Tom Cruise’s character said to Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character: “Help me help you.”
Lastly, I’d like to address the attitude toward employees in the serving industry. In a city such as Boston, it is correct to assume that the majority of service staff is either college educated or on its way. Many of the guests I wait on, however, have a patronizing attitude toward me.
“We’d like sep-ar-ate checks, OK honey?” they ask, drawing out their syllables. There are condescending businessmen who rush through their lunch and struggle with crossword puzzles. When I’m feeling particularly patronized, I walk by and pause to look at the puzzle.
“Agee,” I say nonchalantly, “A-g-e-e.”
They look up at me, annoyed that a waitress knows an answer they don’t, push their overdone steaks around on their plates and start calculating 10 percent of their bill.
I’m graduating from college without a clue as to what career I’ll leave waitressing for. Since there may not be room for me in that career, I remind myself that people will always be hungry.
Allison Keiley, a senior in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press.
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