Breakfast, lunch and dinner at Tiffany’s

There is much abuzz in the food world lately, affecting gourmands on both the national and severely local level. First, the Bush administration, in a last minute decision to retaliate against the European Union in a grisly import/export battle, had enacted a 300 percent tariff that will increase certain luxury foods on April 23, 2009, unless Obama reverses the sanction.

This will impact small businesses in the U.S. ‘-‘- those who purvey and sell luxury goods from Europe. Although some may say that there are other things to worry about aside from moldy cheese and salty ham, I believe this is a serious trade action on behalf of the United States that its citizens need to focus on. Aside from domestic issues, such as the desperate set back this will before small-scale retailers and those who sell these products wholesale to restaurants and larger markets, this will certainly affect the reputation of the United States. Fromagers in Roquefort, France or butchers in southern Spain will be affected drastically and it will stain our nation with a streak of unattractively nationalist pride.

According to The Washington Post Online and ‘Gourmet News,” this sudden 300 percent increase on certain European Union goods was sparked when U.S. hormone-laden beef was denied access as imported goods. So, because the nearly pristine food culture of Europe did not want to accept cow carcasses with more track marks than Barry Bonds, the United States retaliates by excommunicating delicacies and pleasurable indulgences.

In other news, a resident of Brookline proposed to the town hall to pass a bill requiring all restaurants in the neighborhood to post caloric counts of menu items and specials in plain sight. This is absurd. We live in a country where people should be able to go to a restaurant without having propaganda shoved in their faces. If this resident proposed that the restaurant has a list of these calorie counts in the back room or the restaurant’s office for quick retrieval that is sufficient. I don’t need to go to Han River after a horrendous final for barbequed short ribs to be faced off with a screaming ‘572 CALORIES!’ in comic sans.

This was initiated in New York City, but under completely different (and completely rational) standards. In late March 2008, it was decided by New York City Board of Health officials that all city chain restaurants must be labeled with calorie counts. McDonald’s and KFC should have the same 18 years-plus law that a pack of Marlboro Lights requires because of their known adverse effects on long-term health. However, a local Italian bistro does not need to advertise the calorie count in the home-made lasagna because the quality is what is different and that is isn’t laced with sodium fillers and complex carbohydrates, the perpetrators that cause bodily dysfunction and eventual obesity. We should be focusing on discouraging Americans from gorging on fried foods and Velveeta cheese, not trying to force them into ordering side salads when treating themselves to a nice night out.

This stunt might have some sort of ethical backing, maybe, but there are better ways to combat morbid obesity, such as nutrition education. Don’t slap numbers next to a la carte items that are otherwise meaningless to the average American. Additionally, this might have an adverse effect: those high-calorie foods, even if they are not as harmful as the numbers may dictate, might come across to many as the forbidden fruit ‘-‘- and instead encourage them to taste. The clown who proposed this bill ‘-‘- Andrew Ghobrial ‘-‘- is a 22-year-old student who I don’t imagine being enjoyable company at a tasting event, needs to understand how heavily the consequences will outweigh the benefits of this proposal before he tries to force-feed Brookliners master cleanses.