KIRLAND: The whole Glenville thing

Everyone has his or her own lifestyle. It’s a simple fact that has become more and more clear to me as this semester comes to a close. No matter how much Chicagoans and Midwesterners like me want to complain about how the people on the East Coast-and Northeast especially-are colder and more self-centered than people back home, we really shouldn’t. Everyone beats their drum to a different beat or however that saying goes, and as we grow older in college, we start to make more decisions that will paint the story of the rest of our lives.

It may seem pretty goofy, but I offer the truth-or at least my version of the truth-on the little things in life that people should talk about more openly. For example, I really felt that the issue of drunk dialing needed to be addressed. I wanted people to know that everyone gets hammered once in a while and makes stupid mistakes with their cell phones. The problem is that these drunk dials often lead to new tidbits of information about one’s self that may be hidden in the subconscious when sober. If you find yourself drunk dialing that ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend repeatedly, maybe you should think about what that means. Yup, the truth can be startling. You’re still in love, bucko. Or maybe just ‘in like.’ Bottom line is you should grow a pair when you’re sober and say something. Life’s short.

None of us know how long life’s going to last. That’s why I talk about the things I do on Thursday. We need to have fun and lighten up once in a while. Everyone may get stressed this time of year with finals, but sometimes it’s smart to take a step back and look at things as if you were living in a movie. Maybe it’s the film major in me talking, but I think it helps do this once in a while. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Life’s not a tragedy. It’s a tragi-action-drama-fantasy-comedy. Try to make it more of a comedy. Embrace your inner nerd. Hell, most people that know me know that I’m a huge Harry Potter dork. I probably gave it away last year when I got really into dressing up as everyone’s favorite lightning bolt-scarred Gryffindor on Halloween. A lot of people might think it’s weird that I believe that Emma Watson is the hottest actress since Marilyn Monroe, but I don’t care. My point is don’t get embarrassed about things like these. Have fun with them.

Have fun with your own lifestyle, too. I take a lot of jabs at the Boston club scene, places like Dexter and dudes who wear gel, but I don’t really have any problem with the people who choose to live that way. To each his own. I only write the pieces I do every Thursday because I want to promote the kind of lifestyle my friends and I live over on Glenville Avenue. The whole Glenville thing is about what I talk about in my columns. It’s about not caring if you get too tipsy to make it out of your apartment on a Friday when you’re hanging out with all of your friends. It’s about having a Beer Olympics tournament at 7 p.m. on a Friday before finals – sorry mom and dad. The Glenville thing is about being happy to meet more people in your own place sipping on Keystone Lights than most people get to meet drinking Red Bull and vodkas at an overly expensive bar. Our lifestyle is about being OK with certain people selecting Taylor Swift whenever they get an opportunity to choose a song at a party we’re having. It’s about friends passing out on your bed and you having to sleep on the couch for the night.

Maybe that sounds lame to a lot of people, but I wouldn’t trade the Glenville experience for anything. Heck, I wouldn’t even trade passing out at 9 a.m.-not 10-on Marathon Monday.’ I wouldn’t trade any of the stuff I mentioned because if I did, I wouldn’t be living in that movie I mentioned earlier. Every Monday-besides the aforementioned dreadful Marathon Monday-I tried to come up with ideas for columns that captured a little bit of the Glenville thing. For most of you loyal readers, I am hoping you found some kind of common theme for yourself in the columns even though the topics were as random as the alleged Craigslist killer being a Boston University School of Medicine student. Too soon?

Perhaps that joke is too soon, but it’s never too late to jump on the Glenville lifestyle bandwagon. We’re pretty welcoming. As you can tell by most of my columns, I’m a pretty big loser. Losers need more friends. I like mine, but hey it doesn’t hurt to make more. If you’ve been a dedicated reader, I thank you, and consider you to be a good friend of mine already. Anyone who can put up with my crap every week deserves to be commended. I’m even getting sick of rereading some of the stuff I write – but don’t worry. Taking a summer off will undoubtedly put the wind back in my creative sail.

There’s so much more to explore in the Glenville lifestyle. I’ve got a notepad out here where I’ve written down ideas for future columns. My favorite idea that I haven’t used yet is a column on college party etiquette. If you don’t think there are rules and nuances that need to be followed at a college rager, think again. Another idea I had was a sort of fantasy/mystery column on the Mugar Memorial library. There are always those people walking around in those maroon jackets, patrolling the halls. I’ve got a theory that they’re hiding the Holy Grail in the Mug. Why else would they check your bags even though they have those sensors? The worst column idea I see in my little notebook here just says ‘hamburgers.’ I have no idea what that column would have been about, and I apologize for even mentioning it.

I can’t promise I wouldn’t write about something stupid next semester, but I can promise you I will not write about hamburgers. I might mention them, but they won’t be a topic. I might get inspiration eating a hamburger because I never know when or where an idea for a column will pop up. The funniest column-inspiring incident was definitely for the SiSos – or Sidewalk Solicitors if you don’t remember. I was walking by Planned Parenthood, and I saw a girl about my age furiously arguing with an elderly anti-abortion activist. I’m not saying the topic is funny, but you should have heard the argument. There’s something really hilarious about seeing a 60-year-old woman acting like a 2-year-old and only yelling, ‘No, I’m right! You’re wrong!’ And perhaps what was even funnier was seeing the 20-year-old flip off the older woman and walk away shaking her head. I have to thank them for helping me come up with a column idea.

Okay, so now I really sound like a politician. But sometimes you have to sound like that to get what you want. And I want to keep writing. Most of all, I want to give people something stupid to get their mind off lectures as they sit in class and secretly read an issue of The Daily Free Press. I want – excuse me while I bust out the tissues for my final hundred words – to keep telling stories about the little things that make life funny. I was just kidding about the tissues by the way. I’ve got nothing to cry about no matter how many finals I have to take and papers I have to write in the next couple of days because the whole Glenville lifestyle doesn’t allow me to ever get too down. I hope no matter what lifestyle you’re living, that you picked up a Free Press every Thursday. No matter whether you’re a Red Bull and vodka kind of person or are content with Keystone Lights on the reg, we can all laugh at the little things in life. I hope you’ll always have that thirst for some Thirsty Thursdays.