FONTANA: Suiting up

There are very few things nicer, in my personal opinion, then donning the magically empowering, physically heightening, mentally surpassing attire of a clean-cut suit and tie.

Although there was certainly a time when I would have read this statement and heard “Warning! Warning! Proceed at your own risk” going off in my head, that time and mentality is couched far behind me at an age when a suit meant a death in the family, a drawn out wedding ceremony, or at the very least, the choking itch of a noose around my neck. Yes, those days are long gone, for now I realize a suit’s capacity for transformation.

I am in no way implying that I am some fashionista wearing the latest designer item or a hipster judge ushering in a new age of trends; I’m simply a regularly dressed college guy who continues to lack any real fashion sense, despite pressure and critiques of two sisters for the past 19 years of my life. But what I do know is that there is something extraordinary about suits.

A few weekends back my friend was having her birthday party, the theme: Gold/Arabian Nights/Fancy Attire. Just a few options for everyone. Most of us guys didn’t happen to own anything Arabian Nights-esque (surprise), the amount of gold I have came down to a gold(ish) tie, and so we had only one of the themes left. Looks like the guys were dressing up.

Although some of us own suits, only one of the guys actually decided to pull out all the stops: button shirt, tie, jacket, pants, shoes and an inflatable bodyguard. While we all looked sharp and felt good, ready to enjoy our friend’s birthday, this one guy stood out, and not just by what he was wearing, but also by his sudden spontaneous combustion of swag.

This guy is part of the Navy Reserve Officers’ Training Corps here at Boston University, so he knows a thing or two about dressing up nice. As most know, there are certain days when those participating in ROTC have to dress up in their uniforms, and on those days they gain both the constant attention of every girl within a two-block radius, and also this almost innate form of respect. Yet even when my ROTC friend donned this business suit, a rather different set of duds from his Navy uniform, he still felt a particular jive. He realized the suit’s power. He started walking down the street with his chin up and a rhythm in his step. On the train, he felt as if he needed to be making executive business decisions (real life-altering stuff) and started holding pretend phone calls to all of his employees who were depending upon him for calling the “big shots.”

When I was in high school I did an activity called Forensics where we would all put on suits and then go cut up bodies, trying to figure out how they died, and help catch some bad guys. Cool, right? If only it were true.  In reality, Forensics was the speech team, and the only truth in the statement above is that we wore suits. Every Saturday at competitions, all of my friends and people from other schools would put on suits and suddenly everything became different. We were still the same people but now we had this authority and prestige that we didn’t have before.  It was like we could control the elements: “Let our powers combine. Earth! Fire! Jackets! Ties! Shoes! Go Suits!” And after we’d spend the day fighting against the villainous Manthighspleen from polluting the minds of the youth, Captain Planet would remind us that “the power is yours!”

And it really is. There must be a reason they call them “power suits,” right? This incredible tool that has been used for centuries has now fallen right into our laps. Everyone from gladiators to superheroes use suits of varying kinds to assert their authority and gain the upper hand over their adversaries. While these suits have undergone many changes throughout time, the jacket and tie we have now is no less important.

Yet, few of us truly take advantage of this amazing opportunity. On campus I’ll see the School of Management students walking down the street and understand why girls fawn after these future business executives. When you’re choosing a car, do you pick the multitude of minivans or the single sports car with a rocket engine attached? If you’re normal, you’d pick the one with the rocket engine.

Now I’m not saying that wearing suits will allow you to fly or suddenly pick up tons of women (if only it was that simple, the flying that is). But there is something magical about looking important, and more often than not, you might just start believing you’re important too.

David Fontana is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences and a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at fontad5@bu.edu.