There is a time in life when you realize a simple and single image or depiction of who you are ceases to exist. When you’re thrown into different environments and circumstances, new versions of yourself are born. As years pass and experiences accrue, different “selves” emerge.
The first alternative self develops when you enter school. The difference between school life with friends and family life at home inherently produces this change. Then of course, life continues: there’s middle school, high school, college, work and relationships. All include an endless supply of people – friends, peers, coworkers, lovers – who induce different versions of yourself.
I’ve always prided myself on “being me” no matter the environment. But with some introspection, I’ve come to realize that that is impossible. You can’t simply be yourself when a “simple you” no longer exists. Can you?
I’ve developed many selves that comprise who I am. First, there’s the me who interacts with my family at home. In San Diego, there are also my high school friends, who are further divided into multiple sub-sections, for each of which I have another self. Here at Boston University, are other groups of friends who play a role in sculpting the “college me.”
Different versions of self develop for different contexts, which leads to an uneasiness in merging multiple contexts together. It’s a strange occurrence when the borders between drastically different spheres of life collide. It begs the question: Which me am I supposed to be? For example, when my roommate visited me in San Diego over winter break, I felt a nagging strangeness – it felt weird to see her out of the BU context.
I bring this up because of the previous week – her boyfriend, an old high school friend of mine, visited for the week. I felt uneasy, but not because of their relationship or the fact of having another roommate for a few days; rather, seeing him out of the San Diego portion of my life and in the Boston part was a strange concept to handle.
I know it’s something that everyone goes through – so this may be a bit like preaching to the choir, but sometimes I feel like we all need reminders to step back and think, to recognize developments within ourselves. Having multiple versions of yourself may or may not be defined as right or wrong. It’s usually not even a conscious effort. You act in a way based upon the context in which you move; when contexts merge to form another, a new you also emerges. These different versions, including the newly formed, uncertain one, are still all you. Regardless of how the new self behaves, as long as you act genuinely, the new self will inevitably be yourself.
Krissen Kawachi is a freshman in The College of Arts and Sciences and a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. She can be reached at k.kawachi@gmail.com
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