Taken 2: The average person’s nightmare

The franchise that made you never want to visit Europe or talk to random European men is back with Liam Neeson as agent Bryan Mills and his daughter Kim, played by Maggie Grace. This time, Mills and his daughter travel to Istanbul on a seemingly docile vacation. Unbeknownst to them, a Mafioso named Murad (Rade Sherbedgia) and his goons are out to avenge the death of his son (killed by Mills in the first film).

Taken 2, directed by Olivier Megaton, lacks every ounce of grit, suspense and cleverness of its predecessor, making it an interminably mind-numbing 93 minutes. But I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “Don’t ruin my good time! I just want to see some unadulterated ass kicking by Liam Neeson!” Well, my good reader, I say yes, I did too. I believe that if you’re reading this you’re an intelligent person, deserving of intelligent action sequences and dialogue. Even though I’m totally fine with films made simply for commercial reception, we’re all entitled to cleverness, succinct character motivations and a sound narrative to help us cognitively digest the sequence of images. What I’m trying to say is, Megaton my good man, we’re way smarter than you think we are.

When Mills is captured by the bad guys, it’s up to his daughter to help rescue him … wait, what? I thought Bryan Mills wants to keep his daughter safe and out of harm’s way at all costs? Isn’t that what the first film is about? The man is literally taking bullets and knife wounds for his girl, so when she pleads to help him escape, and he agrees, the movie might as well be over. Mills just broke every rule he’s ever established.  It would be one thing if the stakes were higher, like the city itself were in danger and the only way to save every one were for Mills to be free to stop the bad guys. But alas, there were no difficult decisions to be made by Mills, and his character becomes a caricature. It is the most jarring and unrealistic move of the whole film and the audience can’t help but laugh.

Also, Murad (Sherbedgia) is driven by his desire for revenge, thus giving him a chance at some extra dimensions as a character. Bad guys have children too, right? However, the character is a stale type cast and his lines are dishonest and on the nose.  Furthermore, all of his motivations are hinged upon a relationship that is never illustrated. How can we be interested in the father-son dynamic if it never actually exists? To merely say that Murad loves his dead son and then expect us to accept that as the motivation for the whole film is simply insulting.

But, if you love a safe, cliché, unintelligent movie that’s stamped out of the Hollywood sequel factory line, then by all means spend the $11 and go watch Taken 2.