Punxsutawney Phil needs to go into hiding. The Merrimack, New Hampshire police department announced on its Facebook page Tuesday that it has has issued an arrest warrant for the lil’ rodent, stating that the people of New Hampshire have suffered greatly because Punxsutawney Phil called for another 6 weeks of winter. After these incessant snowstorms, it’s safe to say all of New England is tired. We here at the ol’ Free Press were wondering what people in the BU community would do to punish Punxsutawney Phil.
COM: Passive-aggressive subtweet.
ENG: 3-D print a new Punxsutawney Phil that always makes it spring.
CFA: Make him the subject of a permanent installation.
BU Dining: Make him work the GSU Starbucks all by himself on a snow day.
President Brown: Make him go to Saturday classes.
BU Athletics: Use him as the puck at the Beanpot.
SMG: Sell him to New York Mayor Bill de Blasio.
FreeP: Slander his name in an Interrobang. Jerk.
