Dear Men: Break the stigma — your mental health is important too

TW: mental health, mental disorders, suicide

As a society, we have created the narrative that men need to be “macho,” emotionless and unaffected by mental illness.

This collective consciousness hides the truth: men accounted for more than 75 percent of suicides in 2017, according to Psychology Today, and are far less likely to reach out to mental health services than women. This societal issue has been referred to by the media as a silent epidemic and crisis.

Therapy should be normalized for every gender, but especially for men. In our patriarchal society, men have been taught to “man up” over their bleeding knees ever since they were playing T-Ball in elementary school. They have been taught to play it cool and bottle up their emotions.

We have conditioned men to feel more comfortable expressing their emotions through harmful, unhealthy behaviors rather than healthy outlets.

Men are nearly three times more likely to become dependent on alcohol than women and three times more likely to frequently use drugs. And, the U.S. Department of Justice reported in 2019 that 75 percent of violent crimes in the United States are committed by men.

Several research reports have shown that social and personal stress increases the risk of a person acting violently. As a result, lack of access to mental health services increases the risk of violent crimes such as aggravated assault and domestic violence.

2018 Parkland, Fla. shooter Nikolas Cruz told investigators he heard voices in his head telling him what to do, ABC News had reported.

Cruz deserved professional mental help, and his horrendous crimes could have been prevented had he been properly diagnosed and treated for any potential mental disorders. Early psychiatric evaluation plays a critical role in preventing escalation toward violence or even suicide.

In less extreme examples, the stigma around men’s mental health affects other aspects of their lives. Boys end up having more problems in school: they are three times more likely to get suspended than girls, according to the U.K. Department for Education. Men were also reported to have lower life satisfaction than women in a 2016 U.K. national wellbeing survey.

Men, like all people, are still responsible for their own well-being at the end of the day. Unhealthy coping mechanisms in men are harmful to others just as they are harmful to themselves. “Boys will be boys” can no longer be relevant. Feelings of recklessness and irrational anger that may be rooted in poor mental health can no longer be normalized.

One mistake we often make is assuming mental illness looks the same in men as it does in women — but that is not true. Symptoms of depression often manifest themselves physically in men through sleep issues, headaches, abnormal eating habits and loss of interest. But women often experience the more normalized emotion of sadness.

Mental and physical symptoms manifest differently across genders and across individuals. Because of this, men have been under-diagnosed and miseducated in their own mental health. Additionally, their depression symptoms often go unseen by loved ones and doctors.

Society’s treatment of men’s mental health has been unfair. We must take on the responsibility of instilling changes and giving men a safe space.

We must learn that masculinity should never be sacrificed or compromised for emotional vulnerability — shame has no place in a conversation about men’s mental health.

For all of society to internalize this, conversations about mental health must be incorporated into our everyday lives. This only has to start with one conversation.