We all know this country — and the rest of the world — has a serious problem with the way we treat women. I have written about issues of sexism so many times as a columnist, especially because these ideas are often spread by our most powerful elected officials.
However, we tend to overlook how terribly we treat men as well. Toxic masculinity in America is so pervasive, and it has some serious consequences.
This issue recently flooded my Twitter feed when many politically conservative figures — such as Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro — attacked Harry Styles’ Vogue cover because they were offended he wore a dress, which is a traditionally feminine piece of clothing in the United States.
“There is no society that can survive without strong men,” Owens tweeted. “The steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence.”
Shapiro then quote-tweeted Owens and agreed that the feminization of men is a specific attack on masculinity. I personally could not help but laugh when I read these tweets suggesting men wearing dresses weakens our society. These people are terrified of a piece of fabric. If you think a man wearing a skirt is enough to destroy an entire society, then it must be a very fragile society to begin with.
For a large swath of our history, men have worn wigs, skirts, dresses and even makeup. More recently, some of the most famous and talented men in the world have dressed “femininely.” Freddie Mercury dressed in drag in the “I Want to Break Free” music video, and society did not collapse.
Clothing should not be gendered. We have seen fashion trends evolve, and men and women have worn the same things over time.
Wearing a dress allows a man to express himself and dress how he wants.
The suicide rate in 2018 was 3.5 times higher among men than women, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Toxic masculinity contributes to this high rate of suicide among men because they are taught to bottle their emotions and suppress their sadness, which harms their mental health.
So many men grow up without learning how to properly express their emotions, which results in an inability to maintain healthy relationships and participate in basic human communication. Until we start raising our men with the idea that they have every right to their emotions, we will never fix the issue.
I can’t understand why people such as Shapiro and Owens are so concerned with what other people do with their own bodies. I also cannot understand how they believe that Styles, a British man wearing a dress, will have any impact on masculinity in the United States.
If they were truly concerned about masculinity in our society, they would be spending their energy talking about the high suicide rates among men rather than complaining about an individual’s expression of gender and clothing. Styles preaches kindness and acceptance, so when these people attack him, they are also attacking a message of love.
Some may say people such as Shapiro and Owens are simply miserable and should be ignored, which is partly true. But I saw many more people agreeing with their tweets, which shows we have a serious issue with the way masculinity is perceived in this country. We must deal with it now.
Expressing yourself is not a weakness. It is brave to truly know yourself and then show the world that part of you — regardless of your assigned gender. Feeling the need to constantly conform to society’s expectations is the real issue.
