Campus Life, Lifestyle

Stuck in an early 2000s time warp

My top artist of 2018 was Hannah Montana, according to Spotify.

And no, that is not a typo that’s supposed to say 2008. In 2018, my number one most-played artist was the former alter-ego of Miley Cyrus who wears a blonde wig, a plethora of sequins and costumes that would make any regular Justice shopper green with envy.

There’s a lot of personal analysis I could conduct after learning this unfortunate fact about myself. I could talk about how hilarious and utterly humiliating this is, or about the childhood nostalgia I was inevitably feeling in the summer of 2018 right before I left for college. However, I want to instead focus on the early 2000s time warp I seem to still be trapped in.

hannah montana singing on stage at a concert
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana in the 2007 Hannah Montana Tour. Music, clothing and other items from the 2000s can serve as reminders of childhood. COURTESY OF MIKE SCHMID VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

My workout playlist looks like the song lineup a DJ created for a middle school social. My Spotify account is riddled with classic Taylor Swift and Beyoncé jams, and my study music includes an unsettling mixture of Shakira and Coldplay.

I guess there’s something intriguing and scandalous about the middle school social atmosphere — we congregate in awkward circles near plates of chocolate strawberries and communal chip bowls as LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” pounds in the background. Maybe I’m trying to prolong this cringe-worthy feeling for some reason.

Or maybe I’m trying to make up for the fact that I never owned a pair of coveted Heelys shoes. I mean, who wouldn’t want to roll on over to their neighbor’s house to play Club Penguin and watch “High School Musical” together? I was deprived of this, and now I’m stuck in a “Groundhog Day” situation, unable to escape the early 2000s.

Or maybe it’s just that Rihanna songs are unbearably catchy and I’m not ready to let go. I think that seems fair, don’t you?

Whatever the reason, catch me hopping through the snow-sprinkled streets in my Uggs, low-rise skinny jeans and Abercrombie graphic tee while playing Temple Run on my iPod Touch and clutching a messenger bag filled to the brim with “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and “Percy Jackson” books.

What can I say? I’m just an “Ordinary Girl” trying to live “The Best of Both Worlds” and figure out where Hannah Montana bought all of those tiny scarves and cropped sheer, pink cardigans.

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