I owe an apology to Halloween and autumn as a whole.
For the past ten years, all I’ve done is roll my eyes at the mention of Halloween costumes and complain about the terrible weather that fall can bring. It’s not because I have anything against it. The sight of the trees turning orange and shedding their leaves is quite beautiful.
However, I’m the biggest fan of Christmas you will ever meet. I’m not religious, but ever since I was a little girl, Christmas was always the time of year when all my precious, endearing memories would take place. Although it can be nostalgic and almost painful to realize I will never experience Christmas as a little girl again, remembering it still fills me up with unmatched euphoria.
I love walking outside in the dark with the snowflakes settling on my jacket or watching the multi-colored lights sparkle and light up the night sky. The feeling is indescribable. It makes me want to drown in that moment of pure bliss where everything stands still. It’s as if I’m cocooned in this memory of safety and genuine joy.
Nothing makes me feel the same way as the holiday season. So, when Halloween rolls around, all I think about are the approaching winter months. I can’t bring myself to care about dressing up or taking photos of the leaves when the only thing that occupies my mind is waking up to the wondrous snow covering every inch of the world.
Safe to say, my feelings have changed.
I am still the biggest lover of Christmas. But a new sense of admiration now fills my heart when I walk along the roads of Bay State road and stare up at the trees to see the rainbow of colors overhead. I sit in my dorm on the rainy fall days, curled up with a book, and it just makes me feel like the city itself is wrapping me in a huge hug.
If someone asked me to go to a pumpkin patch with them, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. I’ve carved pumpkins before, and it makes me feel like I’m preparing for some sort of epic celebration. I want to feel that way again.
I want to fall in love with autumn and walk along the streets of Boston with a long, stylish jacket and feel that same bubbly happiness I get from the holiday season. And although it will never outweigh Christmas, I feel like I’m getting there.
Just a few days ago, I finally went to a haunted house after years of avoiding one. I used to hate that terrifying moment of anticipation where you know something will be waiting for you as you turn the corner. But, this time, it was just freakishly fun.
I love sitting down and watching horror movies. I adore getting spooked by unsolved murders. So Halloween, also nicknamed “Spooky Season,” should be my cup of tea. Now that I’m properly aware of my surroundings and make an effort to enjoy autumn more than I usually do, I have to say: I’m not disappointed.
That’s why I need to apologize to Halloween and autumn.
I’m sorry.
I didn’t appreciate you before, and while I still see you as something that needs to pass before my favorite time of the year, I have certainly been too harsh on you. I used to see you as an obstacle to get through before Christmas rolls around, and while that is partially true, you certainly did not deserve all the insults I used to throw your way.
Would I call myself a Halloween and autumn enthusiast now? No, probably not. But if I keep taking these small steps, I have a feeling I’ll start looking at these dark, rainy days as a day to take time for myself and relax rather than complain about how badly I wish it were snowing.
Autumn is the season of evenings with warm drinks, warm hugs and even warmer smiles. I can’t wait to fall in love with that cozy charm in all its glory.
Baby steps, Michelle. You’re almost there.
