Advice, Lifestyle

So you discovered a new kink — now what?

There’s nothing better than watching a movie in bed with your partner, but you might become distracted by your partner’s presence, and suddenly, the movie isn’t interesting. You want to explore your partner’s body, and suddenly clothes are tossed aside. 

I’m sure you get the point by now. 

Spontaneity adds an element of surprise in relationships, including how often you and your partner have sex. When it does happen, it becomes an enjoyable moment between you two. Like snowflakes, no two encounters will be the same. 

What happens when one day, your partner tries to wrap a hand around your neck and you realize you like it a lot more than you originally thought you did? 

Haley Alvarez-Lauto | Graphic Artist

First, let’s talk about kinks. Kinks, according to the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary, is an unconventional sexual taste or behavior. They can range from choking and domination, to the classic “mommy” and “daddy” roleplaying that you might see. Kinks often vary depending on the person. 

Usually, the media plays a big role in what kink you end up gaining. One of the most mainstream examples of this is “Fifty Shades of Grey” — a raunchy movie based on an even raunchier book. When the movie was released, couples were lining up — eager to watch the movie. Soon after the franchise’s rise to fame, it became pretty normal on social media to see open discussions on the practice of BDSM — a form of sadomasochism. 

Kinks, regardless of the unconventionality that may surround them, provide pleasure to the person that has them. 

Having an open discussion with your partner is an important first step. Opening up to your partner to discuss what you’re into can be a big step toward enhancing your romantic and sexual relationship. Being honest with your partner is the best thing you could do at the moment, considering they’re the one you are having sex with. Most of the time, your partner will be willing to experience this kink with you, accommodating for the next time you have sex, so don’t be afraid to elaborate on what you want. 

The next — and considerably best part — of developing a new kink is testing it out. Once your partner is familiar, and most importantly comfortable, with the kink you developed, you can put it into practice. Make sure to take your time with getting comfortable acting out the kink, considering both of you are getting used to the kink with one another. 

Know that there isn’t a linear timeline for you to get used to adding in a new trick in bed. For some, it can take only one round, while others might need a couple of tries to get it right. 

Most importantly, make sure to have fun and be safe when practicing kinks of any kind. 

Stay kinky! 


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