You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
Extremely cliche and easier said than done, but true nonetheless. There is something beautiful about being single — and I mean truly single. When you are no longer flirting or going on dates and simply dating yourself. It’s liberating.
What is difficult is learning how to date yourself — peeling back all your insecurities, and being able to love who you are without the reassurance of another person. However, being alone is not a bad thing. It is essential to your development. There is so much you can learn from being single. You can find new hobbies, pursue old hobbies, reestablish relationships and so much more.
One lesson I’ve found to be prominent among many people is finding the ability to be unapologetically themselves. By this, I mean removing the expectations of others and realizing that if they wanted to, they would. Oftentimes people lose who they are by trying to conform to their partner’s expectations. If you have to put on a facade for someone, then you should not be with them. You cannot force someone to care about you or beg them to be in your life — it is a privilege for them, not a guarantee.
Along with this, letting go of those who do not serve you is important. Being single teaches you your self-worth and how to set boundaries to maintain that level. This is all advice preached at us over the internet, but it is true. You are doing yourself an injustice by allowing others to continuously treat you poorly. Some say it is being picky or egotistical to expect someone to meet your standards. However, it is rather essential. The second you lower your standards for someone is the second you lose yourself.
The ability to be content alone teaches you to build these expectations. You can realize what you need or want when it comes to a relationship. Do not settle for anything else. This will make for a better partner as well. Being able to communicate your thoughts will lead to a healthier and happier relationship in the long run.
One way to learn your self-worth is to think of the situation as if it happened to your best friend. What would you tell them? If you truly believe you would react positively, then go for it. However, if you would not want your friend to be treated like that, then you should not be settling for that behavior. As a people pleaser, the most difficult thing I had to get over was saying no to someone and standing up for myself. It is okay to tell someone what they did was not okay. If they can not realize this, that is their loss.
Their behavior has no reflection of you as a person. They simply are not mature enough to realize your value. In my opinion, the most crucial lesson that being single can teach you is the importance of independence. Many think single people are lonely, but that is not the case at all.
Being free of relationship responsibilities means that you can spend time with friends, family and yourself.
Independence is a key aspect of a healthy relationship and should not be lost. Don’t get me wrong, relationships are an amazing way to connect with others. However, to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it is vital to be in a relationship with yourself first. Do not be afraid to be alone — embrace it.