Lifestyle, Sex Advice

How to have sex when you’re miles away

It can be difficult to balance out your academic life with your personal life. Even more so when you have a romantic aspect to that personal life. If you’re lucky, your partner attends the same school as you. For others, it’s a little more complicated than that. 

What happens when you’re inevitably craving something more than just physical touch and can’t get it?

Haley Alvarez-Lauto | Graphic Artist

The most important part is knowing your boundaries. What you are and aren’t willing to do is what matters most, since your comfort should be the number one priority. When you’re long-distance, your main form of communication is usually through the phone, so it should be used when both parties are comfortable and having fun. Sex in any form should be enjoyable after all!

That being said, we can look into different ways of having long-distance sex, starting with sexting. Sexting is self-explanatory — sending sexually explicit texts to someone else. 

Usually, sexts can range from a simple text message to photos, videos or voice messages. It’s a preferred method for people that may be unfamiliar with the concept of long-distance intimacy and want to try it out for the first time. 

Initiating a sext is a lot simpler than you might think. Sending a text to initiate further action is fun, especially if you’re not usually the person to start things off. Little things like initiating a sext can help build your confidence. A decrease in insecurity leaves room for more sexting fun. 

Aside from sexting, videos and phone calls are a more intimate way of getting frisky. Calls add dimension to the experience. Phone sex allows you to communicate with your partner in real-time, rather than waiting for the next text. 

Usually, in these calls, your voice and body are what make up the conversation. Whether it be using your voice to tease your partner sexually or masturbating together, the added element of real-time reactions can be indulgent. Some people might not opt for this option, considering it’s a bigger step away from just sending texts. Building up from texts to phone and video calls is what I suggest.

Something to consider with these options is how you will balance things with your personal life. Dorms often mean you have roommates who you have to share a room with. Being considerate of them is important — it’s their space too. If you are going to send explicit photographs, do so when your roommate isn’t in the room. The last thing you want is for your roommate to walk in on you getting frisky with your significant other. Make sure you’re all alone when you decide to do anything. 

Most importantly, be sure to enjoy yourself. Whatever method you decide is completely up to you, so long as you feel comfortable and confident. If you haven’t seen your partner in a while, sensual intimacy with them should be pleasurable for you both! 


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