If you know me personally, you know that I struggle to let go of things. I often joke that it’s my Taurus stubbornness, but it’s more than that.
It’s a part of who I am, and it’s made it difficult to cultivate peace, especially in my relationship with myself.
This week, I’ve been struggling to let go of so many things: a class I wanted to succeed in, a person I hoped would stay in my life and the idealized version of how I thought this semester would unfold.
This discomfort has affected me in ways I didn’t expect — sleeping poorly, losing my appetite and losing interest in my usual hobbies.
It’s clear to me that letting go is a challenge everyone faces.
It’s hard when things don’t go your way or when it feels like everything is falling apart. That’s when the weight of my attachments feels heaviest.
Although I’ve learned to let go more easily over time, I still struggle with knowing when to speak up and set boundaries.
When is it time to let go? When do you assert yourself to take control of the situation?
When you care about someone, it’s hard to find the balance between truly letting things unfold naturally and trying to control the situation.
I often ask myself, when is it time to speak up? When do I express my feelings when things feel out of balance?
The real challenge lies within knowing what the right thing to do is, especially when someone starts pulling away.
You can feel the shift, but how do you address it without overstepping?
I realize as I write this that I don’t have all the answers. I’m still struggling with these questions, and I may never have them fully figured out. But one thing I keep reminding myself is that I cannot control someone else’s thoughts, feelings or actions.
If I need to speak up, I need to do it for myself — not with the expectation of changing someone else’s behavior.
It’s important to let go of the outcome.
At the same time, letting go doesn’t mean doing nothing and hoping things will change. Letting go is about doing your part, showing up for yourself and putting in the effort.
If things don’t work out despite your best efforts, you can let go with peace of mind. But if you haven’t given it your best shot, don’t give up yet.
I’ve noticed that a lot of advice, especially on social media, encourages avoidant behavior. They often advise us to just let go and move on.
But what if you feel strongly about something or someone? What if you feel unsettled? Why is it so hard to reach out and ask for clarity or express your feelings?
I often find myself doing everything but reaching out. I hold back because I’m unsure if expressing myself aligns with my highest self. But deep down, I know I need to be true to myself.
It’s important to seek what you need and speak your truth.
My friends often remind me that trying to be nonchalant is actually just being chalant. It’s a funny saying, but it carries truth. Pretending everything is fine only complicates things further.
Honesty, even if it’s not easy, is key. Even if you don’t fully understand your feelings, speaking up helps clear the air. There’s always a way through the discomfort, and more often than not, things work out in the end.
For those of us who tend to overthink, it’s easy to fall into the trap of replaying situations in our heads. I often wonder what the other person thinks of me, but the truth is, you’ll never know unless you ask. Silence leaves room for doubt and anxiety.
Pretending everything is fine is more “chalant” because you’re forcing yourself to be okay, which only makes things worse.
I’ve learned that it’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s okay to speak up even if it feels risky. Following your heart is important, even when it doesn’t make sense. You can’t control the future, so focus on the present and speak up when you feel compelled to do so.
A motto I live by is to never regret speaking my mind. The feeling of regret usually comes from staying silent.
If someone truly cares about you, they will communicate, even if you both upset each other sometimes. People can get caught up in their own thoughts, which is why reaching out is important.
Detach from the outcome, but don’t be afraid to express how you feel.
If you care enough, speak up. Don’t hold back because you fear someone might stop liking you. If being real drives someone away, then that connection wasn’t meant to last. People come into our lives for a reason, and sometimes, they leave when their purpose is fulfilled.
Accepting this is hard, especially for someone like me who dislikes superficial relationships. But I’ve learned to find beauty in the connections we have with other people, even if they don’t last forever.
Ultimately, you control your own feelings. Even if things feel uncertain, you have power over how you react.
If you’re going through something similar, remember: I once called and emailed about a job nine times in one month. Just when I was about to give up, I reached out again — and that’s when I got the interview.
You never know what could happen if you don’t take that last step.
So, if you’re uncertain, take this as a sign to reach out. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Life is unpredictable, and you never know what’s coming next.
If you feel hurt, express it. Don’t delay — that can hurt even more.
And remember: if something is meant to be, it will be. Trust the process and focus on being your best self. Don’t overthink things too much. You are enough, and don’t let anything or anyone make you feel less than that.
Keep moving forward with honesty, vulnerability and self-compassion.
