10. Bjork’s Swan Outfit: Although some consider Bjork’s feathery get-up at the 2001 Oscars to be the height of fashion, I will never understand her motivation. Most viewers spent a full 10 minutes debating whether her Swan Lake tutu, complete with swan head and genuine feathers, stitched to an unnecessarily nude body suit, was actually dead — it was, in fact, a fake swan. Nonetheless, the head flopped from side to side as our Icelandic pop princess made her way down the red carpet, leaving witnesses and animal rights activists alike shaking their heads in disgust. Though I applaud her braveness in shedding Oscar tradition of tulle and sparkle for an irreverent outfit, but still, she definitely took the idea of defiance too far. Clothes can make a statement — but this costume screams in agony.
9. David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust: One word for you: mullet. Bowie, for good or for worse, has been a trendsetter in the world of rock. He took a turn (or maybe just a few tabs of bad acid) for the weird with his androgynous alter-ego Ziggy Stardust, primarily during 1972-3. Red, razor-cut mullet. Yellow, spaced-out teeth. Dress or thong. Sunken, black-lined eyes and pale face. Special talent: simulating fellatio on a fellow bandmate by playing bandmate’s guitar with his teeth. Not someone I would want to meet in a dark alley. But the frightening costumes don’t end there — how can you forget the “Thin White Duke” or “Aladdin Sane?” And for further proof that Bowie is one of the scariest, most controversial artists out there, check out any of his movies, especially 1976’s “Man Who Fell to Earth” or 1986’s “Labyrinth.” No one can deny his immense talent or immense influence on rock `n’ roll, but most of us would like to forget Bowie’s foray into alternative fashion.
8. Ozzy Osbourne ‘ Black Sabbath: The originator of goth and the quintessential “mad man,” Ozzy Osbourne made quite a dark name for himself with the satanic themes and dark music of Black Sabbath, howling such songs as “Rat Salad,” “Children of the Grave” and “Killing Yourself to Live.” But Ozzy’s insane, hellish streak didn’t completely manifest itself until he left the band in 1979. As a solo artist, he took a huge bite out of the death metal genre — literally biting the heads off two live doves at a 1980 meeting with CBS executives and chomping the furry noggin off a squirming bat at a 1982 concert in Des Moines. And those fans brave enough to attend a live show were pelted with pounds of raw butcher-block rejects — bloody cow brains and intestines — at its conclusion. The only thing creepier is Ozzy’s son, Jack, seen up close and too personal on MTV’s “The Osbournes.”
7. GWAR: There is not much to say about this act; to know GWAR is to know absolute terror. Just consider the members’ names: Sexecutioner, Balsac the Jaw of Death, Jiz Mac the Gusher, among others. Formed in 1988, GWAR’s initials stand for “God What an Awful Racket,” and the band purports to be a gang of interplanetary warriors who have come to earth to enslave the human population through sexual dominance and mass genocide. Sounds yummy. The band dresses in a crude array of paper mache and latex spikes and armor and acts out pagan rituals, gory executions and lewd sexual positions — a stage show that has caused many venues across the country to ban the act and file charges of indecent exposure. How fitting that GWAR was introduced into mainstream society via MTV’s “Beavis and Butthead.”
6. Backless Pants: Rear ends were meant to be covered — note the two layers of fabric, underwear and jeans, between your gluteus and the outside elements. But (no pun intended) how often do rock stars follow the rules? When, not if, they decide to bear their cheeks, it is often a disturbing sight. Marilyn Manson is scary. Period. The only thing scarier than Manson is his bare backside — which he showcased at the MTV Music Awards a few years back. And who could forget Prince’s taught yellow spandex, complete with gratuitous back peepholes, or Cher’s own open-backed black leather contribution in her video for “If I Could Turn Back Time?” I don’t care if you are Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Lenny Kravitz or another flawlessly hot music superstar — for the love of God, keep it covered. Don’t even get me started on Howard Stern’s wrinkled behind … 5. Devo: As cool as new wave was (and is), the genre also has some disconcerting undertones and images. Most new wave bands, awash in synthesizer riffs, superfluous hairspray use and neon colors, envisioned a future of robots and weird science. Arising from the tangled Technicolor masses, Devo claimed their 15 minutes of fame in 1980 with their smash single “Whip It.” MTV championed the video, which featured the boys of Devo in their red infamous, inverted Lego-flower pot hats, whipping women and various inanimate objects. With their geeky glasses, yellow rain slickers and robotic personalities, Devo represented all that was scary (and oh-so-good) in the new wave movement.
4. Beatles “Butcher” Cover: In 1966, at the pinnacle of the Beatles’ career, Capitol Records released a compilation of leftover songs spliced from the boys’ previous three albums, entitled “Yesterday and Today.” Releasing a premature compilation was nothing new, but the record’s controversial cover certainly was. The cover was a portrait, taken by Australian photographer Richard Whitaker, which featured the Fab Four, smiling sadistically in butcher aprons, covered in dismembered baby doll parts and raw meat chunks — a shocking contrast to the boys’ squeaky clean, innocent image. After the press, looking in horror at their advance copies, complained voraciously about the disturbing imagery, Capitol covered the remaining albums with a file folder clip of the Beatles smiling angelically around an antique trunk. Yet fans soon discovered that these facades could be steamed off, and the biggest Beatles urban legend this side of “Paul is Dead” was born. Though their motives are unclear — it was rumored that the Beatles’ were getting back at Capitol for “butchering” their songs — to this day, the Beatles have never looked so deliciously demented.
3. Rolling Stones, circa 1986’s “Dirty Work”: “Can you fault a once-great artist for his latter-day sins?” Jack Black asks John Cusack in 2001’s “High Fidelity.” The answer: a resounding yes. Many styling rockers made fashion fopahs in the 1980’s — think Bono’s flowing mullet during the recording of U2’s “Wide Awake in America” or Madonna’s over-the-top traffic cone bra. But for the Rolling Stones, their mistakes were much more profound. In the mid-to-late 80’s, the kings of cool, the lords of leather, the sultans of strut, could be seen in neon, unmatched pantsuits and yuppie hairstyles. Take the cover of 1986’s “Dirty Work” for example: Charlie sulks in a purple silk shirt; Mick lounges in yellow pants, orange shirt, pink cardigan and old-lady feathered tresses; even Keith dons his fuchsia with a smile. It only makes sense that the album crashes and burns, neon smoke trailing it to the death. Scary? You bet. And though today’s Stones have returned to their mangy rocker roots, you get the feeling that you just can’t trust them anymore.
2. KISS: This quintessential stadium-rock band catapulted itself into stardom with its slightly disturbing mix of thick makeup, long, flailing tongues and leather bondage. Though its members, with their animal-like faces and teased hair, don’t really do it for me, there are plenty of women in the world, as evidenced by various fan websites and the band’s “KISS-Girl of the Month” calendar, who would give their first born child for just one lick from the illustrious Gene Simmons — with or without make-up. If the members themselves aren’t that scary — in a rare plain-clothes photo of Ace Frehley, he looked strangely like my friend’s father — their cult following certainly is. Face it, KISS fans, your heroes only have one hit song.
1. Michael Jackson’s Face: Any way you slice or dice it (hehe), Michael Jackson is inarguably the scariest man in music. We all thought he looked so frightening in the spooky video for 1982’s “Thriller,” with his yellow eyes and fangs. But that was mere child’s play. Even if Jackson has a serious skin condition, his face tells the tale of a thousand plastic surgeries gone wrong. Who knew that Dangerous’ “Black or White,” released in 1992, could be so prophetic? What is left of his nose seems to be melting into the pale surrounding skin. Combined with his high-pitched, whispery voice, his chimp, Bubbles, and his recent streak of insanity aimed toward the record industry, Jackson has entered a new level of ridiculous. And his face can only get scarier as the years pass.