“Perfume isn’t superficial, it’s like an invisible message to fall in love with someone.”
I read this line on Instagram just around Valentine’s Day, a holiday that I assume most people would wear some type of perfume, whether it be for the occasion or to please your partner, or maybe even yourself. I use perfume on this day for the latter reason.
This lifestyle isn’t hard to understand or apply. After just a few sprays of perfume, I walk out the door carrying a message that I am open to love. The special catch? My message is not spoken with words but with a simple scent. This communication between perfume and romance is an experience not even the commercials can re-create. Rather, it’s best experienced in the presence of the sweet fragrance itself.
It’s simple, really: perfumes embody a fleeting, inexplicable intimacy.
I distinctly remember all the signature perfumes of my former partners — Oud Wood by Tom Ford, Eros by Versace, and Aventus by Creed Boutique.
Each scent sparks a cherished memory of each person and the specific time in my life when I knew them. Just as there are complexities in the notes of different scents, there are also complexities in the memories as well.
However, the memories that these scents induce aren’t necessarily all joyful ones.
Perfume, or perhaps the absence of it, can also elicit feelings of longing, loneliness, and sorrow. When these feelings come up, I try to see it as personal growth rather than dwelling on these emotions. These feelings are proof that I was vulnerable enough to open my heart to someone, which is no easy task. I can take my former love for someone and turn it into love for myself.
However, my experiences and memories with perfumes haven’t always been rooted in attraction, they’re sometimes just rooted in passing. I remember walking down Commonwealth Avenue, passing by sets of people with the most distinguished perfumes: Santal 33 by Le Labo, which rendered mysterious and whimsical, while English Pear & Freesia by Jo Malone reflected a more lighthearted and floral energy.
So, what makes these scents so enigmatic? They are gone in an instant. Once I realized what I had smelled, I already lost the scents in the air before I could turn around for a second whiff.
In these moments, I truly don’t know if I like a person or if I am just drawn to their perfume. I realize it is difficult to tell these two things apart. Depending on how much they use it, perfume can become a strong part of a person’s character — and I wanted it to be a defining hint of mine.
I also consider how the scent lingers once in a while, and interpret it as an attuned instinct to find the owner of a specific scent that pleases me. Oftentimes, I stop to think about how nice it would be to be the followed instead of the follower.
Perfumes can also be hidden narratives in a person’s life. On days like Valentine’s Day, that narrative is of intimacy and attraction – both romantic. If you’re not the romantic type, there are a lot more subtle options to choose from. At the end of the day, is your loss to not create a scented identity – hey, even a deodorant can function the same.
Next time you put on your scent, I hope you hear the wonderful “you smell good,” whether it’s from yourself or someone else. When said to oneself, it can be incredibly meaningful in sparking confidence. When said to others, it can be the start of something new.
So, enjoy a spritz of perfume or cologne! It may be invisible and non-chalant as you put it on, but it can be the most striking message you can ever send.
