Move over Dear Abby. Screw relationship and family problems; a new breed of advice columnist has come to town. With the dogfight coming up this Monday — the Icedogs are facing the Northeastern Huskies in the Beanpot Championship game — the sports community needs some of its game-etiquette questions answered. Here’s just a few of the thousands of questions sent in to Miss Beanpot*:
Dear Miss Beanpot,
Those FleetCenter concession stands are so enticing. I sit there watching the action, and all I can think about are those $3 pretzels and $5 beers. This little redhead behind me always screams, “It’s the middle of the play” when I head out of my seat. Doesn’t she understand the need for nachos grande?
— Hungry Harry from Harvard Ave.
Dear Harry,
I’m sure that chick understands your craving but is annoyed by you disobeying the cardinal rule of fan etiquette. You may be used to standing the entire game in section 8 at Walter Brown, but unfortunately not everyone stands in all of the BU sections at the Fleet. Wait until a whistle to leave your seat. Likewise, don’t head back up the steps until another stop in play. It gets rather frustrating for your fellow fans when your team is killing a crucial penalty, and they can’t watch the action unfold because someone tries to navigate his way out of the section. Please exercise this common courtesy — a real fan doesn’t want to miss any of the action anyway.
Hey, Miss Beanpot, I dig hockey and all, but I really shell out 40 bucks to hear some quality pep band performances. What’s the deal with all four of the Beantown bands playing the same tunes? And why are all of our cheers the same?
— Miles from Myles Standish Hall
Dear Miles from Myles,
It’s true that all four bands play a very similar repertoire, but at least the BU kids sound better and shake it up with some unique stuff, like the Anheuser-Busch cheer and Jason masks and cowbells. At least our favorite cheer isn’t as stupid as the Huskies fans’ “Hey, BU! Can you feel it?” chant followed by some grunting and some suggestive pop-star dance-move gesture. And we don’t need pint-sized cheerleaders to jump up and down in a hockey arena of all places. Go BU!
Miss Beanpot,
I know that anything can happen in a close hockey game during the third period. Why do some fans cheer “scoreboard” or leave when there’s still a lot of hockey left to be played?
— Terrier Fan in Towers
Dear Terrier Fan,
Those are good questions. My advice to those with an addiction for the “scoreboard” cheer is to shut-up. With more than 10 minutes left in the third period and BU up 4-2 during last week’s game, the “scoreboard” cheers began. We all know that 10 minutes is a TON of hockey time. In fact, BU scored its two go-ahead goals in a span of only 1:50 at the onset of the period. If anyone was biting his nails when the Eagles had a couple face-offs in our zone with an extra-attacker during the final minute of the game, he knows that this is a risky chant. Unless we’re up 5-2 as the clock ticks its final seconds away, as NU was against Harvard last week, keep this one silent.
Likewise, trying to beat traffic by ditching the game with only a couple minutes left could mean missing vital parts of the game. BC had a chance to force OT before Mike Pandolfo got an empty-netter with 39.6 seconds left in regulation. I would sure regret being on the B-line during such an intense part of the game. Besides, for the reasons explained in the first letter, this part of the game is not the most courteous time to disrupt those trying to pay attention.
Miss Beanpot,
Boston University is a fine academic institution. I applied to Northeastern just in case BU didn’t realize what a strong student I am. Can I make a hockey cheer out of this?
— Yoni in Uni
Dear Yoni,
“Safety School” was a popular chant directed at Huskies fans on Monday when they began taunting us in preparation for this Monday’s game. Try to be the smart fan and refrain from what is perhaps the most ridiculous chant in the history of college sports cheers. If the cheer wasn’t so catchy, it’d sound something like, “Your admissions office accepts a graduating high school senior with a half-point lower minimum GPA than our school’s admission office does.” Anything to do with hockey? Nope. Silly cheer? Definitely.
Miss Beanpot says … BU has the best fans in Beantown. We’re the most dedicated, spirited and educated about college hockey. Make sure we stay that way — don’t be that guy who leaves with one minute left in a one-goal game as he cheers “safety school” during the middle of a Huskies’ power play.
*Miss Beanpot would like to apologize if her identity borders on any sort of copyright infringement – there surely is some kind of lame beauty pageant in Beantown that already stakes a claim to her name.
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