Chancellor Silber, the GSA, and the Guest Policy

Long John Silber, the Freudian Cowboy

by Justin Knudsen

(A crude song for a crude situation, an outrageous song about an outrage, and a poor response to a poor argument)

Refrain: Long John Silber G Riding through the night A7 King of the wing Em A He’s fighting for the right D Long John Silber G You are senile and uptight D A7 Don’t push your preaching onto me G A D Go fly a freakin kite

D Out of the royal wilderness G A Of the wild, wild, west A7 Came one lone rider straight and tall Em A With a badge upon his vest Riding hard this moral guard Slept neither night or day Except to occasionally Rest his head in musty hay This outdated cowboy Is the law of a great land His six-shooter seeks out tolerance Em A G A And stamps it out with command (Refrain)

He means well, he really does He fights for goodness and for honor On his faithful, loyal steed The trusty horse “Bull Connor” Some words of wisdom from old Long John: “Beware your evil Id Its in your mind its hard to find But I know where its hid Beware that evil Id, young ones It travels tricky roads It makes you all as horny as Those humping horny toads” Says Silber to a student: “You are a worthless slouch No more GSA is what I say So come sit on my leather couch I’ll tell you why everyone is wrong Based on my first impression And if your name is Tracy, shut up please! You’re not allowed to question.”

(Refrain)

Well if you can’t accept diversity Why don’t you just go? Get a beard, cigar, and move back south And call yourself “Castro” Our students all are “psychopaths” And our professors all are “lazy” If Silber’s right, get out of town The future’s looking hazy!

(Refrain)

(slow) D Long John Silber… G Cutting the GSA was quite a crime D7 Long John Silber… Em G A D Can you outlast us all, this time?