I remember the first time I came to Boston. I got completely lost. Everyone was willing to help me find my way. People actually stopped to aid me in finding my way. My mother was ecstatic; Boston was such a friendly place. And Boston really is a sociable place, as long as you don’t mention the Yankees. Boston University, however, is not.

I had almost forgotten what a chilling place BU had been my freshman year, until I started talking to my suitemate who is a transfer student. Because I’ve been vested in my clique for so long, I forgot how hard it is to find people that are 1) willing to make new friends 2) sane 3) nice and 4) not scary. How is such a friendly city a home to such a chilling school? You can feel it as you walk down the halls of CAS, people push past you, and you can see it at the GSU with all those cool stares.

But, even as I complain about it, I know that I too have at times been guilty of this rudeness. Is it just easier to follow the crowd? I even find myself questioning why people are smiling to themselves as they walk down the street. It’s just strange to see someone who goes here and smiles at strangers on purpose. Let’s face it, it’s not normal.

I went to visit a friend of mine at a school in New Jersey, everyone I passed on the street said “hi” to me. My friend’s friends happily introduced themselves to me. I’ve gone into friends’ rooms here and their roommates have not even raised their heads.

There were friendly moments freshman year. Everyone on the floor introduced themselves, and then there were the first two weeks in which I spent all my time with people that I never talked to again. Most of the BU students that I know had tough freshman transitions. Someone even told me when I came to BU “don’t judge it by first semester; everyone hates first semester at BU.” All my other high school friends adjusted to their new environments within a few days or weeks. I guess BU takes some getting used to.

What makes it so unfriendly? It seems that once people find a niche, they feel no need to expand it. Sure, there is the obligatory “hi” to that person who sits next to you in lecture so you leave the window open to get the notes for when you skip class. You’ll grab a quick lunch with them in a pinch. Think of how miserly we all are with our party invites. “I can bring one person, sorry.” “It’s not my party.”

When did we become so unsocial?” When my friends from home have parties, we invite pretty much anyone we know. We give each other “bring as many people as you want.”

Is this closed-door policy that most people here enacted just a sign of their jaded “maturity”? I had a fairly large circle of friends in high school; most people did. There were people to drive home with, people to go out with, people to skip gym with, people to talk to in class. Most of these high school friendships have dissolved. This has happened to most people when they come to college. But do we look at our high school years and decide that we poured all this time and energy to a large group of people, only to find ourselves checking their away messages and wondering why we have no desire to talk to them and, for that matter, nothing to talk about?

Can we chalk this up to experience? Is it better to invest in the few people that we are fairly sure will see us well into our 20s?

I don’t think so. It’s not about pouring your heart out to your lab partner, or promising to make the girl down the hall your bridesmaid. But extending a friendly hand to a new student would be nice. And appreciated. Of course, this might require actually speaking to them, to find out that they are, in fact, a new student. This gets easier with time.

I know that this sounds a little selfless, and might be hard to grasp. This is a form of “networking.” This is very big beyond BU. So if pure “goodwill” toward others just does not do it for you, perhaps this concept will. Make contacts, befriend or acquaint yourself with people who will be able to aid you in the future, and people that you will be able to aid.

I guarantee even with these aims, you will still meet people whose company you enjoy, and who bring something more to your friend palate. You might even serve as a matchmaker without even realizing it.

I’m sure I will hear the “I pay just as much as you and I can do whatever I want.” Which is completely true. But I think following the example of Boston residents would benefit us all. So extend a friendly hand, strike up conversation; a little good karma goes a long way.