Frankly, I had a serious case of writer’s block last week and spent most of my John Silber-mandated 70 hours of study time unsuccessfully racking my brain for a new topic. I spent the better part of the weekend nagging friends, but, ‘Keep off the war, you write about it too much,’ was the best advice they could give.
Since everything nowadays involves a pending Middle East conflict, I don’t have too many options. Why can’t there be something else to write about? Something controversial that doesn’t involve war, death and destruction?
On Friday night I came home and checked out CNN and saw the headline: the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has upheld their earlier ruling that the phrase ‘Under God’ in the Pledge of Allegiance is unconstitutional.
Hallelujah! My prayers had been answered!
The pledge controversy has been one of my favorite stories this year. In a time when most of our news concerns darker, more serious matters, this crazy argument is like a welcome breath of fresh air. Stuff like this reminds us that life isn’t as serious as we often make it out to be, especially when we have hardcore leftists around to keep us entertained.
For those of you who somehow missed this gem of a story, I’ll get you up to speed. This past June, leftist activist and atheist Michael Newdow petitioned the San Francisco-based 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to ban the Pledge of Allegiance from schools because it contains the phrase ‘Under God,’ which he claimed may be offensive to atheists and violates the separation of church and state. Newdow, a California resident, brought the case forward on behalf of his daughter despite the facts that she is isn’t an atheist, is not under his custody, is only 5 years old and probably can’t even spell ‘discrimination,’ let alone sue the government over it.
Newdow won the case, with Judges Stephen Reinhardt and Alfred Goodwin declaring that all public schools in all nine states within the 9th Circuit can no longer say ‘Under God’ in their morning Pledge of Allegiance.
The response to the 9th Circuit’s ruling was astounding; in a 99-0 vote, the U.S. Senate defied the court by supporting the current pledge as is. It might have been the first time the Senate unanimously agreed on a major issue since authorizing military action against the Taliban in 2001.
After the vote, literally every elected representative in the country got on TV to decry the 9th Circuit’s ruling (it was an election year, after all). President Bush dismissed the verdict as ‘ridiculous,’ Trent Lott called it ‘unbelievable’ and Tom Daschle thought the whole thing was just plain ‘nuts.’ Even Sen. Robert Byrd, one of the more … oratorical … members of Congress, seemed at a loss for words in his speech decrying the decision and was only able to come up with ‘stupid.’
Because of the outrage over the initial verdict, the court decided to hold off on finalizing its decision until a later date, which turned out to be Friday of last week.
Had Newdow v. U.S. Congress, et. al. been an important civil rights case akin to Brown v. Board of Education, one might actually applaud the 9th Circuit for taking such an unpopular action. But of course, Newdow isn’t a Brown v. Board of Education-caliber case; instead, it’s more of a Fat Kids v. McDonald’s-caliber case, one that only embarrasses all the parties involved and gives columnists an excuse to make fun of liberals.
Looking ahead, the pledge ruling will assuredly be appealed and sent up to the Supreme Court, where we shall waste even more tax dollars and courtroom time in hopes of reaching a final decision on this silly issue.
So what will Michael Newdow have accomplished after his long, strange trip comes to an end in D.C.? Other than infuriating most of America and stigmatizing his daughter, Newdow will also be forever known as the guy who got us to forget for a couple days.
What I love about the pledge controversy was that it took us back to the less-serious Clinton era, when we actually thought this kind of crap was important. Back in the good old days we didn’t have to worry about terrorism, the stock market, unemployment, war, buying enough duct tape and the million other bad things that have come up since Sept. 11, 2001. On that fateful day in June 2002, we were too busy arguing in office cubicles and classrooms to remember just how lousy things have become.
So thank you, Michael Newdow, for taking us back to a carefree time we probably won’t see again for a long while.
As for the answer to whether ‘Under God’ is constitutional or not, who cares? It’s the Pledge of Allegiance! By high school we were too cool to say it in class anyway.