1. Don’t be caught sporting super flared jeans especially when the bell of the curve extends beyond your hips. The reason that flared jeans work so nicely with our bodies is that the flare evens out our hips.

2. Throw away those chunky shoes, girls! We know they’re comfy to walk the city streets of Boston, but please you could kill someone with those!

3. Unless you’re a fisherman, ditch those thickly-cabled, oversized knit sweaters and save them for a rainy day inside. Chunky sweaters that don’t fit you don’t flatter you. Anyway, this season is all about the feminine, fitted sweater.

4. Is it just me or has Boston University been taken over by the attack of the wide horizontal stripes? Unless you’re a Cheshire cat, get rid of those side-winding nightmares.

5. Make sure that your highlights aren’t cha-cha-cha-chunky! Bigger is not always better this season, it’s all about natural looking highlights that blend nicely with your natural hair color (if you even remember what color that was). So color correct your hair and then you can talk to me.

6. Hoop earrings can be charming, and I’ll be the first one to admit I like to Foxy Brown it up and wear mega hoops once in a while. If your hoops are big enough to hula hoop through, though, we’ve got a problem. Sometimes with earrings, less is more.

7. Black socks, sandals, and shorts, oh my! Black socks, sandals and shorts, oh my! Black socks, sandals and shorts, oh my! That’s all I’m going to say about that.

8. There’s a difference between pants and flood pants. You can wear pants at almost any time, but you wear your floods when it’s pouring. I’m just saying: make sure that your pants are the right length! Pants that fall above your entire shoe shorten your legs and look funny.

9. Attention your attention, please! Girls, girls, girls! Those short, short skirts make me feel like the world’s gyno. My doctorate is in fashionology, not medicine, so drop those hemlines to an appropriate length, stat!

10. Ladies, please don’t get too caught up in following trends. Instead, introduce new pieces into your wardrobe that will compliment the clothes you already own.

11. Why is it that every time that I take a relaxing stroll down Commonwealth Avenue, my peaceful, meditative walk is interrupted by the attack of the fanny packs? Ring, ring! Ring, ring! ‘Hello?’ Yeah, Disney World called, they want their fannies back.

12. No! Put it back! Drop that Avril Levine-inspired tie and close the closet doors! Now, step back and take a deep breath. Exhale and acknowledge that menswear-inspired looks are hot this fall, but the punky tie is no more. R.I.P., Skinny Avril Ties we’ll miss you dearly.

13. No one wants to see who manufactured your underwear (that is, if you’re wearing any at all). Super low pants = near plumber’s butt disaster! P.S. This fall it’s all about high wasted skirts and pants.

14. Surprisingly enough, tights and stockings are no longer fashion faux pas; however, they still scream fashion disaster when they’re white. Honestly, there’s nothing appealing about pasty legs.

15. Don’t wear an outfit that doesn’t fit or that you don’t feel comfortable in. Half the battle of style is won by dressing yourself in an outfit that fits well and that you feel good in. When you feel comfortable in your clothes, you personify style and confidence to others. And please don’t take these fall fashion no-no’s to heart they’re mere suggestions, meant to help, not hurt.