Muse takes on the 73rd Annual Academy Awards

In an effort to give you some sort of guide to this year’s Academy Awards, we wacky Muse staffers each claimed a category (or two) to give you the run-down on the nominees. Included are who we think should win and who we think will take home the golden statue. But don’t mark our words …

Best Actor

If the Oscars are actually based on real performance rather than popularity, Russell Crowe’s kidnapper might as well make his attack Sunday night and Tom Hanks should be cast away before he is allowed back up on the stage to say in that horribly annoying Gump drawl, “They gave me an Academy Award … again.”

The real talent in the Best Actor category at this year’s Oscars lies in Geoffrey Rush’s slimy performance as the Marquis de Sade in “Quills,” Javier Bardem’s intense portrayal of Cuban writer Miguel Arenas in “Before Night Falls” and Ed Harris’ visceral artistic endeavor as painter Jackson Pollock in “Pollock.”

Since America’s undeserving and annoying little sweetheart Julia Roberts is bound to win in her category, it is frightening to think that favorites Hanks and Crowe could shut out the far superior talent of their contenders.

Will someone please give Ed Harris an Oscar? The Academy has shafted him twice in the past five years, most inexcusably for his role in 1998’s “The Truman Show.” His performance as Pollock is his most complex and best yet, so there is no reason for him to remain seated when the winner for Leading Actor is announced. He definitely has a chance, but it’s about time for the members of the Academy to use their hearts and their brains (but not the half-dead cells that urged them to mark Roberts’ name on their scorecards) and recognize this under-rated and fantastic actor.

— Kerri Chyka

Best Supporting Actor

This year at the Oscars, it’s all about Benicio Del Toro. He has been in movies for over a decade and has come a long way since he played Duke the Dog-faced Boy in “Big Top Pee Wee.” He has shared the screen with the likes of Juliette Lewis, Johnny Depp and Kevin Spacey, not to mention Paul Reubens. He has seemingly barreled out of the woodwork, establishing himself with two amazing movies in one year (Steven Soderbergh’s “Traffic”, Guy Ritchie’s “Snatch”). He may also be one of the coolest SOB’s walking the earth right now. And he’s finally going to get his dues.

Del Toro has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his role in the movie “Traffic.” Del Toro played Mexican border cop Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez, an honest character acting as the voice of reason in a world of conspiracy and drug trafficking. His gritty, grainy acting, all in Spanish, perfectly complemented Soderbergh’s washed-out portrait of Mexico. It’s almost tragic that he was only nominated for Best Supporting Actor and not Best Actor.

It’s not that Del Toro is facing easy competition, for Jeff Bridges is also in the mix for his role in “The Contender.” Unfortunately, Bridges may perpetually be remembered as “the Dude” (“or his Dudeness or El Dude-a-rino if you’re not down with the whole brevity thing …”) for his absolutely genius piece of laziness in the Coen Brothers’ “The Big Lebowski,” and, while his performance was commendable, “The Contender” was not.

Also nominated is Willem Dafoe for his role as actor (vampire?) Max Schreck in “Shadow of the Vampire.” Dafoe, however, is going to be left behind again like he was in Oliver Stone’s Academy Award-winning “Platoon” (though this time not in Vietnam). Joaquin Phoenix was nominated for his role as Roman Emperor Commodus in Ridley Scott’s “Gladiator.” Unfortunately, Phoenix played his detestable authority figure and all-around little bastard role a little too well for anyone to choose him for Best Supporting Actor. Who wasn’t just begging for Russell Crowe to kill him? And the last nominee is Albert Finney for his role as a lawyer in Soderbergh’s other film, “Erin Brockovich.” But, what do you really know about Albert Finney? Exactly.

The real problem for all these actors is simply that Benicio Del Toro is in their way. He’s been on his way up for a long time and has finally gotten the attention he deserves. Appearing in such films as “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” Basquiat,” “The Usual Suspects” and “The Way of the Gun,” it seems amazing that it has taken this long. Perhaps the most notable event that will happen at this Sunday’s Academy Awards, however, will not be Del Toro winning his first Oscar, which he will. The real event will be Del Toro rising to take the place of the bad-ass actors reaching the end of their careers — Benicio Del Toro may one day be remembered like Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino.

— Jonathan Hill

Best Director

To all aspiring film directors who one day hope to bask in the glory of Oscar and take the little guy home, here is a list of tips to be learned from this year’s Best Director Oscar race:

1. It helps to be British and it helps to helm a feature film for the first time. This is true for Stephen Daldry, who made the plight of a small, English, working class ballet dancer one of the year’s nicest crossover successes, though Daldry should know he’s on hand to simply show up for a good time; “Billy Elliot” isn’t nominated for Best Picture and that makes him an instant longshot.

2. Intimate, quirky little movies about exceptional people don’t always translate to appreciation for their directors, hence the absence in this category of Cameron Crowe for “Almost Famous,” Curtis Hanson for “Wonder Boys” and Kenneth Lonergan for “You Can Count on Me.”

3. Talented popcorn directors can receive Academy approval if they make big, flashy historical epics. It worked for James Cameron with “Titanic” and it worked again for Ridley Scott with this year’s “Gladiator.”

4. Just because Miramax is ace enough to get pretty much any movie they want nominated for Best Picture does not mean the same goes for Best Director. Note the absence of Lasse Hallstrom, who has been left off the ballot for the “Chocolat.”

5. Don’t make two hugely popular, critically acclaimed films voters love so much, they feel you should be recognized twice in the same category. For even though he’s probably going to get mentioned in Julia’s acceptance speech and Benicio’s as well, Steven Soderbergh will most likely cancel himself out and fail to be called to the podium for either the expertly rousing “Erin Brockovich” or the awe-inspiring “Traffic,” for which he truly deserves to win.

6. Be Ang Lee. Make the most wondrous fairy tale epic in some time, the most successful foreign language film ever, and don’t fear that audiences will flock to see something with a title like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” If you do this, you can forget the quest for the Green Destiny. You’re more likely to end up with a prize of gold.

— T. Christopher Regan

Best Actress

“Erin Brockovich” may have been just what the doctor ordered for Julia Roberts, for just as her knockers needed an uplift, so did her ego from two previous upsets at the Academy Awards. Consecutively losing the Oscar from 1990’s “Steel Magnolias” and the 1991 box office hit “Pretty Woman,” the overwhelming appeal of “Brockovich” to the general public will surely break the streak and lead her down the red carpet Sunday evening. Her performance was just fine, yet it’s highly questionable how tough the role of that crass, loud-mouthed paralegal actually was. Roberts’ rave reviews are undoubtedly based on buzz and buzz alone, a combination of women still dying to have her red curls and men becoming fascinated with her suddenly smaller shirts. Although cute and convincing, her performance was anything but airtight.

The nominee highly worthy of the statue this year is underdog Ellen Burstyn, whose bone chilling performance in “Requiem for a Dream” left moviegoers captivated by her every onscreen move. Bringing to life the harsh reality of an elderly woman living at the mercy of prescriptive diet pills, her flawless acting took her character to a realm of helpless addiction and hopeless suffering. She is hands down the most deserving of this prestigious award, a sad notion taking into consideration the favoritism of the Academy, an idea clearly demonstrated by the wins of Helen Hunt and Gwenyth Paltrow for bland performances in previous years. If Roberts does prevail in the end, the water in a small town community won’t be the only thing tainted.

— Chelsea Bain

Best Supporting Actress

With a lot of unjust snubbing (Zhang Ziyi, anyone?), the Academy still managed to round out a talented lot in this category. Julie Walters, a sentimental favorite in a sentimental movie, is simply flying too far under the radar, and Marcia Gay Harden’s stirring work in “Pollock” should be considered victorious for even garnering a nomination. The always-worthy Judi Dench is fresh off of a SAG victory, but she is quickly succumbing to the “Chocolat”/Miramax backlash, and besides, she’s won recently. That leaves a pair of great performances from “Almost Famous,” with stalwart mom Frances McDormand up against dreamy groupie Kate Hudson. McDormand’s won before, and is overmatched by a young ingénue in a category that loves ‘em (see also Mira Sorvino, Marisa Tomei, Anna Paquin, Angelina Jolie). Being the daughter of Goldie Hawn (who won the same award at about the same age in 1969) can’t hurt either. It’s Hudson’s to take, and rightly so.

— Chad Berndtson

Best Adapted Screenplay

“Traffic” seems to be the favorite to win in the Best Adapted Screenplay category, being based on a British mini-series, but it is widely thought that “Traffic” is really a director’s film. While the script is solid, the story of the drug czar and his daughter tended to veer into cliché territory. Nevertheless, the final product was one of the year’s best films, and the script, despite some shortcomings, did contribute to that. “Wonder Boys” is the best of the nominees as served as a blue print for one of the most beautiful, moving films of the year. Also, movies about writers tend to get some heat in the screenplay category. Still, “Wonder Boys” was virtually ignored in all other categories and was seen by about three people during its two theatrical runs. “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” isn’t in English, which basically gives it no chance in this category, and seeing as “Chocolat” was flat-out painful to watch, one hopes it’s script will not be recognized. The Coen Brother’s script for “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (which was “based” on Homer’s “Odyssey,” though they claim they have never read it) could be a dark horse. It’s quirky, it’s clever and fun.

— Nolan Reese

Best Original Screenplay

In the Best Original Screenplay category, expect one of the night’s biggest upsets when Kenneth Lonergan’s script for “You Can Count on Me” beats out Cameron Crowe’s “Almost Famous.” “Almost Famous” is a cute film, but at time got a little too cute. Lonergan’s script is by far superior to Crowe’s and winning the WGA award has also helped its chances. “Almost Famous” was also very much overlooked in other categories, though this is probably because it was a very good film, but not a great one. The award will definitely go to one of those two scripts, however. “Erin Brockovich” and “Billy Elliot” were both good films, but nothing spectacular. Meanwhile, did “Gladiator” actually have a script? While it was a fun summer action film, the script was the film’s biggest flaw and there’s no real reason it should be mentioned in the same breath as the other four in this category. Count on the award going to Lonergan.

— Nolan Reese

Best Song

Studies have shown that a thoroughly cooked beef steak sandwich, fried eggs and a glass of cheap wine for dinner four times a week will greatly reduce a male’s risk for heart failure. Further studies have proved that a Disney animated film will steal the Academy Award for best song fifty percent of the time and Orson Welles’ large carcass will again walk amongst the living. In fact, during the long forgotten decade of the `90s, an animated film was the winner for best song on six different occasions. Only one of these was non-Disney, the religious epic “The Prince of Egypt” grabbed the honors once. I’m still a little worried about Val Kilmer being God. It’s no wonder “The Island of Dr. Moreau” and “Batman” Forever made it to the silver screen.

This year, along with the standard issue Disney and Randy “I’ve been nominated 14 times before, now just give me the damned little golden man” Newman tunes, three of the nominees are first timers familiar to anyone with a pulse. Sadly, Sting is one of these first timers and responsible for the Disney ditty “Funny Friend” from “The Emperor’s New Groove.” There’s nothing funny about it and the song sounds like filler from any one of the Englishman’s albums. Old-timer Bob Dylan has also been nominated for the first time with his contribution of “Things Have Changed” to the highly underrated comedy “Wonder Boys.” It’s nothing groundbreaking from Dylan and surely not worthy of Oscar’s shiny naked body. Finally, the most promising newbie from the bunch is Bjork, whose duet with Thom Yorke of Radiohead fame “I’ve Seen It All” is most deserving of the sacred man-shaped idol.

— Anthony Q. Casasnovas

Costume Design

Yes, Jim Carrey looked great in that “Grinch” suit. And sure, Glenn Close was gloriously tacky as she chased those “102 Dalmatians.” As for “Quills,” everyone sure seemed suitably dirty. And that’s about all that can and will be said about the costumes in these films, which probably don’t have a shot at the Best Costume Design Oscar. Instead, it’s a race between the poetic colors of clothing that flow through the ancient China of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and the grand threads donned by Maximus and his ancient Roman company in “Gladiator.” And while both are worthy, it’s less than vexing to predict the picturesque “Tiger” pouncing on this award.

— T. Christopher Regan

*Best Picture*

The following is what your Muse editors think of the Best Picture nominees. We figured multiple contradictory opinions would make your choicesf for the pool a little less confusting (cackle, cackle).

“Traffic” will take the statue because it is undeniably the best movie of the year. If the boring script and mediocre direction of Gladiator prevails, it’s time to wage the war against insane members of the Academy! — Chelsea Bain, Theater Editor

With “Chocolat” thanking its lucky stars for a nomination alone, and “Erin Brockovich” overshadowed by its director’s other entry, it’s a three-way battle among the sentimental martial arts sweep “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” the gritty, realist war on drugs “Traffic,” and the glamorized Roman epic “Gladiator.” Though “Traffic” is the superior film of the lot, look for Hollywood glamour and bombast to cash in, with “Gladiator”’s Golden Globe victory putting it just head. — Chad Berndtson, Television Editor

Although it probably will happen, I am in denial that “Gladiator” will win. The most deserving nominations are “Traffic” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” My money is on the fantasy epic “Crouching Tiger.” And will someone tell me why “Erin Brockovich” and “Chocolat” are nominated? Ah, the evil lures of Juliette and Julia. — Kerri Chyka, Film, Managing Editor

I want “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” to win because the special effects were so impressive and I like foreign films. But, according to everyone else, “Gladiator” is going to win, so I guess that’s what I’ll say. — Kristen E. Conway, Out ‘ About Editor

I hate that “Gladiator” is going to win this award. I hate that “Traffic” is not. I hate that “Bring It On” wasn’t nominated. — Breanne L. Heldman, Muse Editor

It seems the general consensus is that “Gladiator” will win the big one, but hopefully “Traffic,” the best of the nominated films, will sneak in and take the statue. “Chocolat” is a truly painful piece of trash, and if that somehow wins, it will represent a new low point for the Academy. It’s worse than “As Good As It Gets,” “Jerry Maguire” and “The Cider House Rules” combined, and they pretty much blew. Nor will “Erin Brockovich.” “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” could be an upset, but it’s most likely going to win Best Foreign Film. — Nolan Reese, Calendar Editor

“Traffic” should be the winner here, but the buzz on Steven Soderbergh’s ensemble masterpiece has dulled a bit. The race is really between the heavily nominated “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and “Gladiator.” For now, put money on the fact that Russell Crowe speaks without subtitles. — T. Christopher Regan, Former Muse Editor

Who will win: “Traffic.” The government is simply using the Oscars as a pawn to convince the American public that the war on drugs is good, and drugs are very, very bad. Who should win: “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Subtitles make me sleepy, but people flying over rooftops look damn cool. — Sharon Steel, Features Editor