In light of health care reform passing earlier this week, we here at the ol’ Free Press would like to highlight some other coverage needs and requests made to the now federally funded program.
- The School of Management has requested coverage for its rooftop jacuzzi.
- College of General Studies students have requested to have their ABC’s and 1, 2, 3’s covered.
- Steve Jobs has put in a request for the iPad, just for extra coverage.
- Vice President Joe Biden needs his mouth covered.
- Dean of Students Kenneth Elmore has requested that his head be covered.
- US Sen. Scott Brown needs his body covered. In its entirety. Especially when photographed.
- The turkeys on Bay State Road have requested coverage now that they live on-campus.
- The Boston University Police Department needs its legs covered now that it has switched to summer uniforms. This has come at the request (or complaint) of the many students who have been visually assaulted.
- Student Health Service’s Director David McBride has requested that swine flu be covered so he can get back to focusing on hangovers and herpes.
- The Daily Free Press staff has requested that their souls be covered for when they go to hell for making terrible jokes at the expensive of innocent people.
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