Today, Feb. 10, is officially D-Day. Or perhaps it would be better described as I-day. The Verizon-compatible version of the Apple iPhone 4 is officially on sale online and in stores across the country. This development will guarantee the existence of even more obsessed and slightly – OK, very, annoying – iPhone users. In the face of the cutting edge functions this new service provider has to offer, such as the ability to actually place and receive calls, I thought that the popularity of iPhone Applications might decrease. But I was very wrong. In fact, it seems that Apps are now more popular than ever and within the last couple of weeks many new and life-changing ones have been released. I have compiled just a few, which should make iPhone-users thumbs everywhere start twitching.
Parents, are you tired of interacting with and teaching your young children in order to ensure proper early psychological development? Well, now there is an App for that! A Canadian company has designed a collection of educational games called Tickle Tap Apps aimed at kiddies as young as 18 months. So feel free to open (and finish) that bottle of wine while leaving your little brat alone with the iPhone for a while. After all, what could possibly go wrong when you leave a $500 piece of technology in the hands of a toddler? (On a side note, the BU administration has ordered that Tickle Tap Apps be required for all CGS students.)
Committed a cardinal sin lately such as doing mountains of cocaine with a harem of porn stars (Charlie Sheen style) or worse, cross checking in the sudden death overtime of a Beanpot match? No worries, forgiveness is on the way via the Pope himself! The Catholic Church has recently endorsed an App which allows users to “confess” their sins to a program which then proceeds to give instructions on how to absolve their unworthy selves. The App, which costs $1.99, is obviously a small price to pay for entrance to Heaven and I like that the Church has found a way to get in touch with modern age by reaching back to its roots. Digital indulgences for everyone!
For those obsessed with the symptom-checker feature on Web MD because every lump could be a tumor, there is now an even more efficient way to prove that mole on your left arm is going to kill you. The FDA has approved of an App which would allow doctors to make clinical diagnosis based on medical images they receive on their iPhones. Of course this also means that one single distorted pixel could mean the difference between a life-saving decision and a fatal one. Better get that Catholic Church working on a last rites App too, just in case.
Perhaps the creepiest recent App is the “Where The Ladies At” App. An aspiring lothario can use a compass on his phone which, using foursquare technology, will literally point to the closest lady in his vicinity. Or, if he goes to BU, he can just look up from his iPhone every once and while. Last time I checked there were a couple girls hanging our here and there on Commonwealth Avenue.
Speaking of our fine institution, I am shocked that a BU-specific App does not exist and I think this should be remedied immediately. I propose a “Real-Time Intuition Inflation App” so you can literally watch your intuition rise by the minute. For additional fun you could race it against other inflation-happy sectors such as the economy of Greece! I bet you we would still “win”!
As a non-smart phone user, this whole App-craze is slightly shrouded in mystery for me. I do not know how to play Angry Birds, nor do I feel the need to update my Facebook page or non-existent Twitter every five minutes. My experience with Apps does not extend past the World Cup-inspired vuvuzela one, which is also probably one of the least complicated and most annoying, and now irrelevant, Apps available. For me, Apps are the things that people use while they are pretending to listen to me blather on.
As a multitude of new users join the iPhone revolution today, I just hope that some aspects of life stay technology-free and the occasional human face-to-face interaction will still occur. After all, the most important thing in my life is to maintain my relationships with my family, friends and boyfriend, and this is something that can’t be done with the simple stroke of a few keys.
To all past, present and future iPhone proselytes, just remember that there are so many important things that exist outside of your sleek little black phone. Recognizing and staying connected to these essential aspects of life…there simply is no App for that.
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