PEARSON: Transitions

There has been quite a lot of activity at the Pearson Compound these past few days, as I attempt to reform myself into someone who is desirable as a long-term mate.  Alex and I are over, after having yet another discussion about honesty and feelings.  (Please note:  while I encourage the use of honest and open communication, I am not interested in dating a guidance counselor).

It was disappointing and liberating at the same time.  At first, I thought that I was missing out on my next great love, since some of our mutual friends had discussed what a great couple we were.  Although, as time passes, I realize that I need someone who is mostly independent, who can text me Wednesday about a date on Friday, sleep over and then live his life until next weekend.  Alex seemed to be that guy, at least until we got started, and then it was nothing but Facebook chats and late night texts about our feelings.  Call me crazy, but I’m not a girl.  I don’t enjoy opening up and talking about my feelings.  These open and honest conversations I keep preaching about should be used sparingly at key points in the relationship, not constantly shared throughout the early stages of dating.

Also, I’ve been feeling that recently, this column has been a whole lot less sexy than I first imagined.  After all, with most questions I’ve received revolving around things like first kisses and handholding, where is all this Boston University sex happening?  Do we, as students, not want to ask for help or advice because we think we know what we’re doing?  Or, is it that we’re too embarrassed to be ‘that guy’ in eighth grade health class who asks, “am I normal?”  If you don’t want me to print your question about your weird fetish, that’s fine, but don’t go on without knowing the answers to life’s little sexual questions.  I’m here as a tool for you, not to just be a tool who thinks he can write about sex.

I guess we’ll never know, assuming you never ask me that burning question you’ve been too scared to send.  Meanwhile, I’m going to keep going out to Estate on Thursdays, trying to find my Mr. Right.  If you see me out there, smile and let me buy you a drink.  Who knows, we might even end up right here, in black and white.

I’ve been hanging out with a guy on my hall for a while now and I’m kinda into him and I’m pretty sure he’s into me.  We spend hours just chilling in his room and we always make plans to hang out together.  We even texted about cuddling together the other night.  However, he hasn’t made a move yet.  What should I do?

Confused

Personally, I don’t think straight guys cuddle, but my girlfriends assure me that, under the right circumstances, they can get the men in their lives to lie down and nuzzle.  So, should you take the reins?  Or, should you wait in relationship purgatory until he makes a break for your nether regions?

Transitioning from friendship to romance is a difficult thing to master, especially during freshman year.  With so many BFFs living in close quarters, little social ripples can cause a shift in the entire floor’s morale.  However, during my time in Sleeper, I observed the formation of several couples, a few friends-with-benefits and even a gay hookup or two.  None of these were accomplished without a little risk, but I think that every single one of these couples would agree that the chance they took was worth it.

So, therefore, the answer to your dilemma is a resounding ‘make a move!’  Freshman boys are terrified of attempting maneuvers on girls, especially after all the sexual harassment movies and pamphlets we’re forced to read during high school.  Much like the realization that pregnancy can be avoided over 99 percent of the time when birth control is used correctly, freshman boys actually know much less about sexual encounters than the media gives us credit for.

You should continue texting, and schedule a nice, long evening of cuddling.  Make sure your roommate won’t be around for a while, crack open a bottle of cheap wine, (two drinks maximum!) and go to town.  Snuggle up together, and when the moment is right (and when the wine has reached its peak effect), move in for a kiss.  Just one, romantic peck on the lips will show him that you are interested, and that these weeks of texting and sexless cuddling have been a warm up to what’s coming next.

Luke Pearson a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at lpsexquestions@gmail.com