If it’s Tuesday, it’s Terrier Insanity on Tuesday. By now, you hopefully know what’s going on. Sixteen BU administrators, coaches, players and others connected to the world of BU sports are competing in a Sweet 16-style tournament, and only one competitor will walk away from this grueling 1-on-1 basketball event with the coveted Cut to the Chase trophy-thing.
With so many games and so little space, it’s imperative we get to Round of 16 results immediately. While determination, strong will and mental toughness played the primary role in crowning winners, reader/competitor response played a role as well. After the results, I’ll remind you of how you can help pick the Final Four.
No. 1 BU Athletic Director Gary Strickler vs. No. 16 Mary Pratt: It’s my sad responsibility to report that tragedy struck this match-up before it even began. Pratt, a former world-class softball player who was an inspiration for the movie “A League of Their Own,” pulled a hamstring during warm-ups. Using the courage it took to break the gender-barrier in sports in World War II America, Pratt summoned her entourage to fetch a wheelchair so the game could go on. To make things fair, officials ordered Strickler to utilize a wheelchair as well. But when a second chair could not be found, officials snagged a wheelbarrow from the Nickerson Field construction crew for Strickler to use, and BU assistant athletic director for facilities Alan Weinberger was called to serve as Strickler’s guide.
When the game began, the duo of Strickler/Weinberger opened up a commanding lead only to be thwarted by a late-Pratt comeback. With the score tied and 12 seconds left, Strickler appeared to have a clear-cut path to the hoop for a game-winning layup. But with a wobbly-Weinberger controlling the wheelbarrow from behind, Weinberger tired, lost his balance and tipped a poised-for-victory and top-seeded Strickler out of the vehicle. No. 16 Pratt scooped up the loose ball and fired a desperation three-pointer at the buzzer, which rimmed in and locked up the biggest upset in the history of NCAA tournament athletics.
Following the game, Strickler was seen hiding behind the bleachers, his eyes filled with tears. When he saw Pratt wheel over, he assumed she came to offer condolences. He was half right.
“Great game, Strickler,” Pratt said. “But get yourself together. There’s no crying in basketball.”
No. 8 crew coach Rodney Pratt vs. No. 9 softball player Kenya Palmer: Chalk up the victory to Rodney Pratt, although Rodney is under review for conduct unbecoming of an Insanity competitor. More on this next week.
No. 5 men’s hoopster Jason Grochowalski vs. No. 12 Sasquatch: This is what makes the tournament so special. A player with insane basketball skills like Jason Grochowalski has fallen to a man some might say is clinically insane. In the following real account, Sasquatch explains why he was able to defeat such a worthy opponent with the best basketball skills in the tournament.
“As far as basketball skills are concerned, I’m a lefty, which means that Grochowalski might have had a tough time guarding me,” Sasquatch said. “Also, [we played] shirts and skins, and I [was] skins, so every time Grochowalski had the ball, he thought I was his teammate since my hair makes me look like I’m wearing a sweater. He’d pass me the ball, and I’d get an easy lay-up. What I may lack in basketball skills, I [was able to] make up in that I brought so much damn spirit.
“On to the second round!,” Sasquatch added. “Green or Dixon, I don’t care. I pity the fool who comes messin’ with Sasquatch.”
No. 4 BU Anthem singer Barbara Green vs. No. 13 women’s hoopster Alison Dixon: The “fool” who now feels Sasquatch’s “pity” is pre-game favorite Barbara Green. In fact, Green played the entire game while belting out the words to popular BU fight songs and longtime Broadway musicals. The songs clearly placed Dixon under a dizzy trance laced with infatuation, which allowed Green to advance with ease.
No. 6 Section 8 vs. No. 11 field hockey coach Sally Starr: Everybody in attendance had to feel bad for Starr when this one was over. The player representing Section 8 brought along 79 supporters, and Starr was heckled for the full 30 minutes of competition with creative jeers ranging from “Starr, Starr, she can’t shoot far” to “Dunk ‘em up, Dunk ‘em up, Sally Starr sucks!” It was rather cruel, yet effective. Section 8 advanced.
No. 3 Alan Weinberger vs. No. 14 lacrosse star Chrissy Lombard: With reader response equal, skills on the court made the difference. Although many may say that skills with messing with the court made a difference. Before the game, Weinberger, who is the assistant athletic director for facilities, deemed the Case Center court unplayable due to minor, yet mysterious flooding, which Weinberger “blamed” on the recent severe rain. With the backing of the recently defeated Gary Strickler, the game was controversially moved outdoors, which gave Weinberger and his street-tough mentality a clear edge. It was a close game, but Weinberger moved on.
No. 7 Joe Wright vs. No. 10 Carl Corazzini: The higher seed held true to form here, as bandleader Wright advanced to the Elite Eight.
No. 2 Deidre Enos vs. No. 15 Kirk Miller: A battle of two elite soccer players came down to one broken heart. Not one of the competitors, but mine. In the last week, I’ve learned that Deidre has left Boston University to pursue her dream of professional soccer for the upstart Women’s United Soccer Association’s Philadelphia Charge. Enos, whom I showered with hero’s status for an entire season, left without saying goodbye to me. Final score: Kirk Miller 1,653, Enos 2.
That leaves an Elite Eight crowd of No. 16 Mary Pratt vs. No. 8 Rodney Pratt; No. 12 Sasquatch vs. No. 4 Barbara Green; No. 6 Section 8 vs. No. 3 Alan Weinberger; No. 7 Joe Wright vs. No. 15 Kirk Miller.
You have the chance to be heard. Should any of these match-ups intrigue you enough to state your opinion, you can do so by e-mailing BURivals@hotmail.com. Your input may affect the outcomes of the games. Competitors are encouraged to plead their own cases as well. First-time endorsements are also encouraged.
Let the games continue!
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