Maintaining Control

Control: to exercise restraining or directing influence over; to regulate. The more women fight and struggle to control our own bodies, the less control we actually have. For the past 35 or so years, women have fought for sexual freedom. This includes the right to choose abortion, as well as the right to be a sexual being — the way men have historically been.

But our struggle has been completely misdirected. We think that to have sexual freedom, we must encourage total sexual inhibition. We have encouraged women to experiment with casual sex, with sex toys, with other women, with group sex. But this has not helped us achieve control over our own bodies.

In fact, this preaching of sexual inhibition has had the opposite effect, and we have let our bodies take control of ourselves. We’ve failed to exert any restraint on our sexuality, so our bodies, the physical, have become our master.

This sexual inhibition can also lead to abortions, where we actually lose more control of our bodies. Many women feel forced or pressured into having an abortion because, like it or not, if nothing else is done, our bodies will continue to grow and nurture a new life inside our wombs. We cannot control this. The real control must come before we have to struggle for it.

Control meaning sexual restraint. Not because we are forced to but because we choose not to become slaves to our bodies. We will control our bodies by being selective about who our bodies are involved with and what are bodies are doing. This isn’t to mean women are to become once again sexually repressed. It’s wonderful that both men and women today can enjoy sex as a beautiful act of love, but when we exercise no restraint, we lose all control we had once thought gained.

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