Helen Fisher knew that people are attracted to each other based on looks and’ similarities in education, religious and social values. What she wanted to know was why.
Her search for answers led her to research, involving a study of 40,000 people and a questionnaire completed by five million people in 33 countries, all of which culminated in her latest book, ‘Why Him? Why Her? Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type.’
Fisher, a Rutgers University visiting research professor in anthropology, explained the theory of her newest book to a crowd that overflowed into, and filled, a second auditorium at the Museum of Science Wednesday night.
Audience members said they were not sure what to expect from the lecture. Some said they attended after becoming interested in Fisher while reading her first book, ‘Why We Love,’ while others were interested for scientific reasons.
Northeastern University senior biochemistry major Jennifer Tarnacki said she was skeptical of Fisher’s theories.
‘I’m interested to see how you could possibly chemically say, ‘Oh, you’re the right match for so-and-so,” she said. ‘It seems weird.’
Fisher’s survey classifies people into four different groups: the explorer, the builder, the director and the negotiator.
The explorer is charming, eloquent, has a high level of education, is comfortable in his or her own skin and likes novelty and change.
The builder is the ‘pillar of society,’ and community and family are most important to them, she said. Builders tend to be conservative and religious, and are fans of schedules, rules and plans.
‘They tend to like plaid shirts,’ Fisher said. ‘It’s orderly.’
The director is someone who is emotionally contained and tough-minded, she said.
‘These are the people who will rush into a burning building to save someone they don’t know,’ Fisher said.
The negotiator has good intuition, seeks meaning and identity, has excellent ‘people skills,’ and, though they can seem like doormats because they are so agreeable, they are actually the most independent of the group, Fisher said.
Explorers are good matches for each other, and so are builders, but the work-driven director personality tends to gravitate toward the emotion-based negotiator.
The explorer wants a playmate, the builder wants a helpmate, the director wants a mind mate and the negotiator wants a soul mate, she said.
Sadaf Hoda, who works for a Boston-area biotech company, said Fisher’s lecture was a refreshing look at love.
‘It’s nice to see a scientific spin on love,’ Hoda said. ‘Nobody actually understands why people get together. So it’s just one more clue, really.”
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