Columns, Opinion

Ladies I Am Right: Taking relationships for granted

span style=”font-weight: 400″>We take a lot of things for granted in this world. This Boston spring reminds us that we took the summer for granted. Sometimes our relatives like to remind us how we take them for granted (which we do). We take spring break for granted when we’re knee deep in work at Mugar and we take those late nights for granted at the office. There’s a lot we take for granted in this world, but I think, most of all, we take our friends for granted.

Our friends are staples in our lives. A lot of them we’ve had since middle school. It’s a miracle that a lot of my friends have stuck around since elementary school, when I wore transition lenses and liked to wear monochromatic outfits. This was way before that was a fun and flirty trend. I try to talk to my best friend from home every day in some respect. I usually call her before she dips into the subway or while I’m walking home from class.

Friendships come and go, and like any relationship, they take work. Sometimes we take our friends for granted because we think they’ll just put up with it. Sometimes we think that if we disappear for a few weeks, they’ll still be there like nothing’s changed. This isn’t always the case. We can’t just expect our friends to be there for us if we don’t communicate with them.

Friendships are some of the most important relationships that you can have. Friends, especially ones that you’ve had for a really long time, have seen you through your worst. They’ve watched you go from an obsession with the Jonas Brothers to an obsession with Twilight and everything related to vampires. They’ve been with you through your choice to get bangs and they’ve been with you through every single day you regret getting those bangs. They’ve seen you at your worst and they’ve been there with you for your best. But as much as they’ve been there for you, you also have to be there for them.

Relationships, like friendships, end if you don’t take care to keep up with them. People fall out of touch; they get busy and they find other friends to hang out with. Friendships can end for a thousand reasons. It’s your job to determine whether they should or not. In most cases, if you’re willing to do the work, the friendship could continue. If there are blatant reasons that it should end, then the friendship should end. If a friendship is toxic, it’s best to end it. There is no point in staying in a toxic friendship, despite things like the length of the friendship and past experiences you’ve shared together. If one of your longest friendships becomes toxic, it may be hard to let that go — but it is also imperative to.

A friend I met in elementary school became one of my closest friends through middle and high school. The friendship became toxic, however, and I had to distance myself from her because of the impact it had on me. As much as I wanted to remain friends with her because we had been for so long, I had to end it because of the toll it was taking on me. I then got to focus that energy on more productive friendships that I have today and don’t have a toxic effect on me. I try not to take those relationships for granted, but I know that I do to an extent. Being away from them for school also creates some difficulty, but I know that when we get back together, it’s like nothing’s changed.

Friendships are one of the most important relationships that we harbor in our lives. Familial relationships can be fluid — I still fight with my brother sometimes — while romantic ones can come and go as they do, especially in college. But friendships, ones that have been nurtured and harbored, can last your whole life. It is important that we don’t take those relationships for granted, lest we see so quickly see those relationships dissipate.

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