March Madness has finally come to an end. There was a lot of basketball, a lot of cheerleaders and a lot of school mascots. Every year I can’t help but think how BU can improve and get itself some national recognition. The level of basketball is hard to change, and we all know the cheerleaders aren’t going to magically improve overnight, but then there’s the mascot. Don’t get me wrong, the Terrier is good, but couldn’t we do a little better?

I have to admit, before researching this column I had almost no idea what a Terrier was, what it looked like or whether the Boston Terrier was even a unique breed. Before assessing whether or not we need a mascot makeover, I figured it was important to understand what we currently have.

It turns out the Boston Terrier is indeed its own breed, in fact the first truly American breed of dog. The American Kennel club describes it as “a lively, highly intelligent, smooth-coated, short-headed, compactly-built, short-tailed, well-balanced dog.” That doesn’t sound too bad. I certainly like the highly intelligent aspect of it. Smooth-coated has a nice touch to it, but I’m not sure about a short tail.

Hold the phone, there’s a serious problem. The Boston Terrier is listed as a member of the “Non-Sporting” group!?! Non-Sporting? Our mighty Terriers are non-sporting? Did anybody think of this when they were nicknaming our school? Isn’t sporting the only thing you really need a mascot to be? No, our mascot isn’t really sporting. It just sits there and lets you pet its smooth coat. Does Athletic Director Mike Lynch know about this?

What’s worse is that within the non-sporting group (I’m assuming that’s the MEAC of the dog show circuit) the Boston Terrier hasn’t won the group at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show since 1970. On top of that, the Boston Terrier has never won Best in Show. It seems the Boston Terrier is the Norfolk State Spartans of the dog world.

The one great thing about having a dog as a mascot is it means you can get a real dog and parade it around at sporting events, graduation and frat parties. We could pass down timeless stories, like how Rhett the 19th was killed during a horrible misunderstanding at the GSU Chinese restaurant. Unfortunately BU has deprived us of this joy. If we’re not going to go to the trouble of getting ourselves a real dog, we might as well call it quits and give up the Terrier nickname. As much as I love the tradition, the unique Boston aspect of the name and the feistiness it implies, it may be time for us to move on to something new.

What do we look for in a new nickname? First of all, it has to be unique. One of a kind. Nobody wants to be just another Wildcat or Eagle. Second, it has to be tough, something you wouldn’t want to mess with. There’s an intimidation factor that goes with a Black Bear, Ragin’ Cajun or even Fighting Irish, something a Terrier just doesn’t have. Lastly, there is the “What the heck is that?” factor. A Buckeye, Boilermaker, Volunteer — who’s volunteering? For what? I don’t know, but I like it.

Let’s start with a few of my favorite current nicknames and try to build off those. The NYU Violets. Yep, that’s NYU’s nickname. What makes this so special is they use the color in the plural, many schools tout names such as the Crimson, the Big Red or Big Green, but NYU is actually bold enough to call each individual athlete a Violet. I’m not sure why they chose violets and what they mean by it, but the cheers are priceless — “Roses are red. We are violets! Yay, go violets!”

Then, we’ve got the Haverford Black Squirrels. Has anyone actually seen a Black Squirrel? Do they exist? The Williams Purple Cows, the Delaware Blue Hens — pretty much when in doubt throwing a random color at the beginning of an animal is always a good way to go. It adds a fear factor. Sure, a cow isn’t a violent animal, but a purple cow? Who knows?

These favorites lead to a few obvious copycat options for BU. We could go with the Ultra Violets — that would really show New York who’s boss — or we could go Scarlet Terriers just to jazz it up a bit. Put a little twist on Scarlet Terriers and you get the Boston University Clifford the Big Red Dogs — educational, one of a kind and if you remember the books, Clifford had a monstrous presence.

Somehow, I have a feeling my attempt at change will be in vain. The BU Cliffords are a distant dream. I doubt my non-sporting discovery will overcome 100 years of tradition. Let me end by advising the administration (that’s code for Mike Lynch) that they should at least get us a dog. Please, pretty please, we’ll take real good care of it. I promise to walk it every day. We could even compete it in dog shows. The school could come together to cheer on Rhett as he struts his stuff against some of the world’s most perfect pups. Remember, ever since ESPN decided to air dog shows, it’s now officially an accepted sport and really, really cool.

It might even be better than football.

Josh Lerner, a 2007 graduate of the College of Communication, is a former columnist for The Daily Free Press.