College is usually the time for Boston University students to experience independence and freedom from parental controls, but according to a recent study by the College Parents of America, communication between parents and their children has increased, possibly due to advances in technological communication, including emailing and instant messaging.
The study concluded that 74 percent of parents communicate with their children two to three times per week, with the most popular mode of communication by cell phone. Fifty-eight percent of parents said they use email frequently.
CPA hopes to make this an annual survey, the first to link communication and technology among parents and college students.
“This survey will help to serve as benchmark data that can be tracked over the next couple of years and beyond,” the survey explained in its introduction.
Fifty-three percent of college parents who responded to the survey said they are much more involved in their child’s life at college than their parents were when they were in college. But students and faculty question whether this increased communication is caused by technological improvements or for other reasons.
Sociology professor Nazli Kibria asked if the increased communication could be traced to technology.
“With the technology and the fact that parents are living longer, there is more opportunity for children to cultivate relationships with their parents as adults,” she said. “The technology may help, but I am not entirely sure how much of it has to do with technology and [how much has to do with] the general kind of dependence [of children on their parents] at a later age.”
Despite the survey’s report that state most parents are becoming more technologically savvy, some students said their parents are clueless when it comes to computers.
“My mom doesn’t really know how to use a computer and she doesn’t even have an email address,” College of Communication sophomore Melanie Nemoy said. “I think my mom could [use email] if she tried, but she would rather just call.”
The study reported that the main topics of conversation between parents and their children were academics and finances.
“I talk on the phone to them about once a week,” College of Arts and Sciences junior Maria Sandercock said. “Generally it’s just small stuff, like paying for something or when I’m coming home at the end of the year.”
Sandercock described email as “pretty impersonal,” despite the fact that she communicates with her parents five to six times a week by email.
Students varied on how involved their parents were in their lives.
“I talk to [my parents] one to two times per week,” COM freshman Marisa Martinez said. “I email my dad everyday, but he doesn’t how to use [instant messaging]. My parents are as much in my life as I need them to be, without smothering me.”
With all of the ways for parents to contact their children, some students said they felt they spoke to their parents too much.
“I just tell them I don’t get their emails, but I still talk to them one to two times a week on the phone,” COM freshman Andrew Ford said. “I blocked my dad on AIM.”
Some students said instant messaging is an inappropriate and illogical way to communicate with their parents.
“Instant messaging is more for younger generations,” CAS sophomore Sean Picone said.
But for other students, it is not a matter of preference of communication, but rather of necessity to use emails or instant messaging to avoid expensive phone bills to overseas locations.
“My parents are divorced,” School of Management freshman Zubin Tejani said. “My dad lives abroad, and because of the time difference we try to communicate on MSN messenger. I get about three emails from my dad per week and an AIM once every day. I talk to my mom, who lives in the states, two to three times a week on the phone.”